What are you going to do about it?

And I mean this in the most constructive way possible. The poor Delhi girl who suffered one of the most heinous gang-rapes known to mankind, finally died today. While it saddens me that I take the stand of thank god it's over, I also know it's the most practical thing. Forget the trauma she would have had to face, the fact that her intestines and vagina would have to be replaced would have made life physically painful for her too. For those out of the loop, a girl was gang-raped by a group of men in a Delhi bus and then the messed around with an iron rod and managed to pull out her intestines too. And this gut wrenching description is actually one of the least morbid ones I could possibly give of the incident so you can well imagine how horrific the tale is. The poor girl struggled to survive, but finally she is dead today. And I see protest marches and angry messages and updates. But like everything else, I know it is just something people are doing in the moment, that it leading to something really substantial is near impossible

I see rants to the government and security. But honestly are you sayign that a law passed by the government is going to put an end to this? In a society where women are not respected in their own houses, and where the male to female population is seriously skewed, this leaves me feeling very hopeless about the situation. However, if anyone is really looking for a solution, here goes

1) Equal treatment of the genders. This starts from curbing female foeticide. For heaven's sake, you killing a girl before she is even born is the same if not worse than girls being abused and left for dead and finally succumbing to their injuries. It preaches a mentality that women are not of any value. Why would your sons pay attention or respect to girls like they deserve then?

2) Equal opportunities to girls. You will send your sons to all the fancy schools and parties and outings. And they are allowed to stay out late and date girls etc. They are allowed to wear and act and do as they please. But not girls. And for heavens sake, our dressign doesnt provoke men. Its the animal instinct and the fact that they see a vulnerable and helpless prey in front of them that does. So stuff your preaching about dress decently up your ass. Give equal opportunities to women and it will increase the acceptance of girls in all aspects of society more and make them less of an enticement to the perverts that exist

3) Be a pro-active society. There has been an incident when walking on the streets of Mumbai, I yelled at a guy who tried to brush past my friend while we were walking on the road in the night, and the guy ran for his life cos the shopkeepers nearby came out. Delhi, and unfortunately now even mumbai to some extent is losing this pro-activeness. However if societies promise to protect its own that area becomes safe and this can spread as a mutually agreed upon solution if taken seriously.

So we don't need the government to put up a law to deter these incidents. We need good educated societies. And anger is fine but what's more important is where it is directed and what comes out of it. We are not looking for a quick fix here, finding and hanging the guilty is not enough, we need a permanent fix and that can only come through us. So I again ask you, what are you going to do about it?

Not sure what to name this

So I recently attended my best friend's sisters wedding in Mumbai. And as expected with all indian weddigns everythign was pure chaos. I am yet to see a well organised and disciplined indian wedding. So much so that after my big fat greek wedding i wondered what the whole hullabaloo was about. Anyways, that being not what I set out to write about, I will get straight down to my latest eureka moment(Yes I had one more of those)

"You threaten to leave only those who you know can't do without you"

And its one of the most heartless selfish thing you can do. There's a weird sadistic pleasure one gets from seeing the person in front of you getting all emotional and look at you pleadingly. And its horrible. And I know this because this is exactly what I did. And then I felt super bad about it. Because I knew it wasnt my friends fault and she had other commitments. But I was mad. And I knew it was her fault to some extent for not having planned it better and for letting me down by not having enough time for me especially since i came back home after 3 months. And so i told her this is the last time Im going to see you for a very very long time so hope you enjoyed it and walked off. And then I felt very bad about it and realised that had she not put me in a position where I could tell her this and not worry about retaliation or to hell with you attitude I would never have said it. And hence the above quote about threatening to leave only those who cant do without you. Another one of my sad observations on behaviour I guess.

Fav Pic

That has to be my favourite pic from IIFT. Minal and Neha kissing me to try and cheer me up because some guys had been very mean to me after the symposium. Though now I get the point that boys being boys have the tendency to just go jump into things without thinking abt the niceties to be followed... but this is my favourite pic more because of the simplicity of thinking. Apparently for my friends just them being around me and giving me a peck on the cheek and a hug is supposed to cheer me up.. And I think its quite true too...Theres nothing that picks you up better than people just showing you they are there for in the simplest term possible . It gives you the courage to believe that whatever past doesnt matter cos the ppl who care abt u still do and will always continue to do so..

Snob

They will not talk to her


They do look at her

They wonder who she is and where she comes from

A stranger in her own land

Sometimes a curse and sometimes a boon



She sits quietly with her lunch

Her back to them all

She is tired of the constant gazes and curious eyes she sees

She wants none of it today



Her friends are on leave

Hence she feels the eyes even more

She tries to not think about them

But its easier with company on her hand



They finally guess she’s just alone

They also make a conjecture on her character

Quite the snob they think let her be

We have plenty without her you see



She wishes they would’nt judge her so

That her differences are more of accents and lisps than pride

That she’s just normal and one of them all

But the constant speculation puts her off

She would rather not explain herself anymore

Why must she fight for acceptance with every single soul?

Had she been just the same would they have cared

But now a snob have they her named



So she sits quietly with her back to them

Blocking out the sounds of friendly laughter and cheer

Wishing there was someone she knew

Who would in this vast unfriendly world make her feel at home.

top 5 things to do if you achieve "World Domination"!!!"

I started writing this blog sometime back :P Don't remember when and am too lazy to go back and checkbut Im guessing it was somewhere around 2008. And I had to explain the weird choice fot the name. One of the comments caught my eye. It was best of luck with your plans of world domination :D

Now, you may well wonder how I thought I was going to get there. And here's how I thought it would. i was kind of hoping that people would start reading the blog and my ideas would get embedded in their minds and then their actions and thus I could control them :P

Anyways, that did not happen, as you can clearly see. But I can still try to think of the top 5 things I would do if I had managed it, can't I? ;)

5) Put Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan in a box and throw them in the middle of the next hurricane threatening the DCs I look at providing DR support to as a sacrifice to appease the Gods! Hopefully, it won't have the opposite effect!

4) Catch hold of all the bureaucratic people like one of my teammates who creates more obstacles than he resolves and fling them to the sharks, god bless their souls(the sharks not the people's)

3) Ban Rap and hip hop. God awful sound for no reason.

2) Get all my favourite brands to pay me for for shopping with them :)

1) Make fat the new beautiful like in the renaissance period :'( Too much hard work trying to lose it I tell you :|

Jaipur!

Amer fort from a distance... A big distance. But I did manage to tick off one more place from my list of places to see while in the north. The pink city is truly awesome. And it's actually not pink but brick red. The colour of gehru which is used to paint the walls as one overly friendly young guy in the train explained to me when he overheard me gushing about the pink houses we would see in Jaipur. He also added an unnecessary "who would paint their house pink?"  after that explanation. So let me start this from the start.

Diwali day and no-one is in the office apart from me and Darshika. We were always planning a trip to Jaipur but it had never fallen into place. So we said lets go to Jaipur this weekend. Since I'm  a member of the youth hostel, getting a place to stay is usually no problem at all. Then began the planning which was massively done by Darshika since I was super busy :( but she did a pretty good job of it and loved all the freedon to decide what we would do with our time too so it was all good. We booked train tickets to get there and bus tickets to come back.

Then came the Friday we were supposed to depart on and my drill just would not get over. Luckily we finished by 11 and rushed home by a private cab. and then the fun began. A 3:00 am cab to the station, getting into a train at 4:30. and all this when Im not used to travelling by trains at all just added to the charm.

Day 1 was a whirlwind tour of all the places outside Jaipur. So we started with Amer fort, and jal mahal and then drove all the way across Jaipur in the opposite direction to see Chowki Dhani. Now this place is absolutely a must go to if you are in Jaipur. Its a theme park with the theme of a Rajasthani village and is complete with magic shows, puppet shows, dances, elephant and camel rides, fortune tellers and a place where the artisans can sell stuff. And the food is absolutely to die for. Please, if you go to Jaipur or are in Mumbai check out Chowki Dhani though the one in Jaipur is much better than the one in Mumbai.

Day 2: We decided to backpack this day and see the places inside the city. Starting off with the City Palace. And as luck would have it some royal guests were expected that very day. We could not see the guests because they were taking their own sweet time but we did see the preparation. A horse buggy along with three decorated camels and a band playing bagpipes were all part of the grand royal welcome they were to receive. Man I wish I was the guest of the present royal family and if there was a young prince on offer, who was smart and good looking, I would not mind marrying him either :P

City Palace was followed by Jantar Mantar, a collection of old equipment to measure the movements of celestial objects. It increased my respect for the old Indian generations. They truly were into innovation and science. The current geenration is so busy earning money that all this has been thrown out the window.  We then went on to Albert Hall a beautiful museum and then after lunch walked to Hawa Mahal which was another experience as we covered in 20 mins flat as it was almost closing time. So we ran up the place posed clicked ran and repeated the cycle till we reached the very top. :D

And then we shopped!!! Obviously we had to. Badi Chowpath is the place to go if you want some nice traditional things. There's a lot of bargaining involved and Im just super happy that I managed to buy 2 dress materials after reducing their cost to 2/3 of what they were asking . :) You need to be a good bargainer for this place Im not a good bargainer but I did mange to get things down to my range. This was followed by dinner at MI road and then a rickshaw to Sindhi camp from where we took a bus back to Delhi.

 The cost of the entire trip per head without the shopping was Rs 3600 and Im sure there is margin for improvement here if we had not used a cab on the first day but then being girls we thought it was the safest option since we were roaming the outskirts of Jaipur. So all in all it was a nice quick weekend getaway.

Skyfall

Caught the latest Bond flick doing the rounds. I like Bond, and I like strong alpha male figures. There's just something very fascinating about a guy who has brains and manages to still kick someone's ass if required.

Having said that and shown I'm clearly biased towards James Bond, I know the movie has not got as good reviews as its predecessors have. However, I believe this is more to do with the fact that Bond in our minds has been moulded into this sleek gadget wielding, casanova types. So when we see Bond movies with not that much sex and machines. I actually like the less objectifying of women as sex objects part to be honest, I like Daniel Craig's James Bond movies more partly for this. Hardly seen him making out as much as the previous Bond's did. And I say this after having been a big Pierce Brosnan fan from his days of Remington Steele. Plus there's no denying that Craig is a more hand's on Bond. And I like the delving into the past that I see in these movies. I loved discovering how Bond became so emotionally detached from women, or that he is a rich Scottish(?) orphan. And I definitely liked wathing him trying to save M and a list of agents(somewhat Mission Impossible I-ish) rather than watching him go catch hold of weird baddieswho want to nuke the world in hopes of getting their oil to somewhere else or similar nuke related Bond stories. Not that I did'nt like those. But I think people are being harsh giving these not so good reviews. I think an unbiased viewing of these movies would actually help you enjoy them more. Why must Bond always save the world from an impeding near end? I know I went in not expecting Bond to be the Pierce Brosnan bond flicks and was on the edge of the seat. I could not even wait for the title song to end cos I was so eager to see how Bond was gonna come back next.

 And now I'm going to be a girl and let the girlie instincts take over. Daniel Craig is awesomely hot. I love his eyes (thanks to the title song where they are in focus and make you think of clear blue oceans and sandy beaches :D) I was even more excited to see Ralph Fiennes(one of my all time favouritest actors in the whole wide world :P) come in as M. He's super awesome. And the new Q is cute too. And my dad told me Daniel Craig is 50 years old when I started gushing over him on the phone. Dads! Anyways, I hate to see Judi Dench leaving. But all in all I liked this movie too. And I'm glad to see a change in perspective and them trying to do something new.

What's in a Name: Pat II

So admittedly, I have one of the most difficult names to pronounce. the k is more of an illusion at the statrt and the sh have to be attached to the k and stretched so that it almost sounds like x but in xylophone but isnt quite there because the sh is attached to it. And I have a lisp too, to make matters worse for me actually.

It was quite embarassing as a kid because I could not pronounce my own name till the 7th standard which is like I was 13. Led to a lot of loss of self esteem and 7th std was easily my worst year ever. But then I practised it and am now quite capable to say it out loud as long as I'm consciously thinking of what Im saying. The moment I am in a hurry or not focussing, it's all over the place again :P

Anyways, the only positive I see out of all this is that when foreigners mispronounce my name, im ablt to understand why and take it with a pinch of salt. So recently I had a call with some guys from Puerto Rico and since their native tongue is Spanish rather than English.( funnily foreigners who know english are better at saying my name, don't know why) . And this guy is being really nice to me and trying to ensure he gets my name right. So he started off with Xeeteeja, which is good for a first time person saying my name who is not in Indian culture, 10 mins down the line he went Xeeja, then Xena and finally by the end of the call I was named Katrina!!! :D

Anyways, it's all fun. I have several names due to the difficulty people have saying my original name. Kates, Nicky, Dexter, hello(strangely enough because I have a habit of greeting everyone with a friendly hello no matter how small an interval ago I just saw the person :P) a. So I say to myself, what's in a name??    :) 

Hotel Transylvania

Interesting animated flick, Different concept. It twirls around the age old dilemma of who's actually afraid of whom. so there's Count Dracula and guess what, his daughter has just turned 118. He has raised her all on his own and watched her grow. He has built a castle where no human can ever enter and this is now a hotel; Hotel Transylvania;a hotel for only monsters where they can feel safe from humans. She has lived 118 years surrounded by only monsters.

And now it's her coming of age. She has finally turned 118. There is a lavish party as usual for her. All the monsters you can think of are there right from Frankensteing to the werewolves to the zombies. And he knows that for her 188th bday she will argue that she wants to go explore the world. So he stages a scene of a village dresses up zombies as humans and sends her out there for a half an hour flight. It has the desired effect, she returns vowing to never go out again. However when the Count's band of zombie actors return from the village a young backpacker who had heard stories of this castle follows them straight into the hotel. The Count now has two tasks on hand, ensuring this youngster gets out without anyone figuring out a human made it to the castle, which would ruin business for him as the castle would no longer be a safe getaway from humans and two ensuring the boy and his daughter do not fall in love. And invariably he fails miserably at both.

A sweet romantic flick which plays amazingly well with the emotions of a father trying to protect his daughter from his worst fear and then eventually giving in to her wishes in order to see her happy, its a nice watch and has many other subtle messages about acceptance and forgiving and letting go off the past and adapting to the future. Over  all I would see watch it when you are in the mood for a nice animated flick you can see with your family. 

Daddy's Little Girl

She tries her best
To make it on her own
She feels the world
At her feet now bows.

For she is now grown
and has learnt a lot along the way
She feels all safe and secure
For she knows there's someone who cares.

A nice strong man
who has always cleaned her path for her
Has rid the road of thorns
And tried to carpet the world

He has anticipated she would walk
He has anticipated what she would do
He has aspired and dreamt
Of what when she's grown she will do

And now he watches
With pride from the shadows as she twirls
She does not know
That before she tried to them command he already had tamed the troublemakers

Always watching out
Planning and anticipating
Wanting to protect but knowing he must let go
if he wants her to always be Daddy's little girl!

Dream!

Dream, dream of a better place.
Thoughts turn your actions
Maybe they can change the pace.

You look around you -
All you see is lost faith;
But dream on I say,
You never know what you might help take place.

Do not lose hope,
Cos when the night's darkest, that's when the sun peeks out they say.
Keep working and striving,
Keep dreaming your world into place.

You may not move mountains-
You may not even move your town!
But dreaming gives inspiration-
To all your aspiration yet to be found.

So dream away I say!
You don't have to change the world.
Make a small start if that's what it takes
And you may just leave a small mark, leave someone touched.

Argo! please watch! Go!!!

i'm so exhausted! but I did catch a movie this weekend too. right after the 24 hour stay in office. It was Ben Affleck'd Argo. It is amazing. It's based on a true incident and it is awesome. i loved everything about it and i'm unabashedly going to say, it's probably the first Ben Affleck flick i have truly enjoyed. There's no unnecessary romantic angle, no added drama, it delivers the story in a nice crisp manner which keeps you on the edge of the seat throughout while also making you laugh at the occasional stabs at humour. I would suggest this movie as a must watch to everyone. And im really not in a very verbose mood right now but this is something I had to say today itself, because I loved it so much. We were flooded with familiar faces but they all essayed their characters to the t and no one over stepped the border and there were no unnecessary heroics. Go for it without thinking twice.

A smile

Sometime, very rarely and only  if you pay close attention to your surroundings, you will see a sight which will make you glad for the opportunities you have had, for your parents and families( this you may feel grateful for more often too) and wish life was not so harsh on some of the rest of us, I experienced this yesterday during my tea break.

I work for an IT firm which is pretty big in India. We have a huge sprawling campus and a beautiful two storey cafetaria. all of this requires people to take care of it. It's one of these people who caught my eye. He must not have been more than 16 years. A janitor by profession, he's the one who cleans up the mess we create on the floor and leave on the tables. There was a bunch of peoplke in the late 20s and early 30s celebrating a birthday. And obviously like most people they smashed cake in the birthday boy/man's face creating a huge mess on the floor in the process. But all I saw this kid do was stand there and laugh with glee as he watched the scene. This is something that he is going to have to clean up himself. apart from that its an experience he can not afford to have at the moment. Its pure wastage of a slice or two of cake which he could rather have fed someone he knew. But I didnt see any anger or jealousy or envy on his face. He was happily laughing away, lost in the moment. and it made me realise that life really doesnt have to be as serious as we take it. We can just have a laugh  even when life doesnt give you as much as the other because you are content with your life/ you dont begrudge the others their happiness. We are so lost in one upmanship and coming up on top that most time we do not enjoy what we are doing. We make silly sacrifices like staying away from our families and friends, ignoring them giving more time to work and all for what? I was surprised.

I think the reason that smile caught my eye was because I don't think I smile that way as often as I would like to. I think I wanted to give this person so much more for just the pure innocence he displayed. I wished he could have had some more opportunities, he had had the chance to go to school or college and get a white collar job. But then I look around at all of us who did do that and wonder did we do this to ourselves, is the crazy rat race we run to blame for the lack of that pure spark of joy I saw in this kid? I'm not sure the material things I wish he had had, which I think would make his life easier would actually do much for his soul. Sure it would make his life easier but would he then start fighting for more the way we keep strugglnbg for the next big thing be it a phone, job, car, promotion. Obviously we are more blessed than he is. But we do not say thank you enough nor do we appreciate all that we have as much as it should be. I am glad I sit here knowing that I have an excellent family and friend system. I thank god for the eductaion and job opportunities he has given me. I am glad for the supportive environment I have at work. There are a million other things I am grateful for. And all that brings them to mind is the fact that a kid smiled in the cafetaria, a true smile with no malice, just a pure joyful amused smile. Are we really so starved of real human emotion? My takeaway from this kid is to always hold my head high, be proud of what Im doing, live in the moment and enjoy life whatever be the circumstances. And I wish more of his happiness and joy for life can be seen in people around me too. 

A poem for a change.

I did something interesting last night, I doubt anyone has done this yet, but maybe they have I dont know. It was a first for me. I had a dream which woke me up at 4 and it kind of gave me the first line/inspiration for a poem. This has not happened for the first time but earlier I had put my self to sleep again saying I will remember it later, which never happened. So this time around I actually SMSed the poem to myself (I'm not so crazy that I'd wake up to put it down in my blog immediately) so here it is. Please for heaven's sake don't send me brickbats for it. I usually am more balanced than this poem suggests.

Ohh heart be still,
I've heard you long enough , now listen to my mind instead-
Love is not a game, its a battlefield
With strategies and victories and defeats thrown in.

Ohh heart don't beat so
You're making me bleed.
It's time an equal was found, an alliance was made not just a dalliance
Why must you speak when not required? It's time you let the adults think.

Ohh heart be still don't yearn no more
It's time something was earned
and to do has never been your forte still
Let whatever wisdom accumulated shine through
You just be still and watch the till.

Ohh heart, stop! Don't beat
You've made me make mistakes so far
I've had disappointments and hopes and then some more.
I can't take it anymore I'm sure - just be still
Don't beat for fear that the next defeat may me kill.

That's it folks. Now you've seen the poetic side of me though there's a whole different blog for that in another place already :D Thought I'd give you a taste of that side of me and anyone who wants more feel free to let me know and I will share the link with you. However if you are smart enough you will dig it up yourself. :)

Another Birthday gone well

Somehow I always seem to think my friends will not be able to ace their last performance and somehow they always manage to ace it regardless of it :) And I really appreciate them for this. So as you have guessed correctly, I had another awesome birthday!

So on 15th of Oct, I returned home thinking I would be cutting a cake with only Kiran, my roommate. I opened the main gate and was about to unlock my door when I heard a hopeful "Kshitija". Thinking Kiran had come, I went to check out who it was and imagine my surprise when I saw Shveta( one of my friends from IIFT) standing there. I spent the next 10 mins staring at her, giving her random hugs, asking her if she'd have water or something to eat and screaming "I can't believe you showed up" :) That in itself was an awesome start. Apparently Sayani had asked Kiran for my new address on FB( thank god for the internet) and passed on the information to Minal and Shveta. And here I was thinking  nobody was gonna do anything cos no one asked me for my address.

And then Kiran came back but  left cos something was mysteriously left with her fiancee in the car. So I tried to play dumb cos I knew it was more in my interest that way :P So I spent some time chit chatting with Shveta and Minal who could not contain her excitement and called at 11:30 itself :P. There were 2 cakes cut that night, one from Shveta and one from Kiran cos neither one knew the other was getting a cake :D so I got an amazing strawberry cake and my favourite chocolate truffle in one go. And then the barrage of phone calls started and ended only at 2 which is when I finally got to eat the cakes I had cut so happily :|

The next day, after making breakfast for Shveta, I left for the McD at sector 16 Noida, where Pallavi and Bhansali had called me for breakfast. And of course there was one more cake there :D This was followed by a quick visit to my old office because my cabbie would not come pick me up from 16 and take me to office.

Once I got to my own office I found my cubicle covered in balloons and streamers and a perfect bouquet of pink roses :D They then proceeded to shower me with a birthday card with personalised messages, the deos I use :P lots of chocs and another cake at lunch time... This was all interspersed with wishes from a lot of people I have never otherwise had a chance to speak to :) So it was awesome.

Not to mention the fact that my phone did not stop ringing since 5 in the evening the previous day to 11 last night and the various BBMs, Watsapp msgs and smses pouring in. Also the personalised presentation :P from darshika and the cards and the countdown she did for me on Monday evening. :) I loved every moment and was overwhelmed with all the affection pouring out from all directions.. Thanks to everyone who made my day so awesome in case you read this... I love you all. 

Speaking of Birthdays,

mine's just around the corner :| Now you may wonder what's with the straight face. Here's why, I am not sure whether to be happy or sad. I've usually been super-pampered on my birthdays. However, this year unless there is some sort of a super surprise in store for me, it seems like it's going to be a rather bland one. So i'm going to recap my 3 favourite Birthday moments just to make sure I never forget them.

Birthday 1: Baked Alaska. And it was special only because of the baked alaska. It was my 18th Birthday and mom made this awesome cake. For those unaware of baked alaska, it is a cake, topped with ice-cream and it's coated with something and doused with Rum and set on fire when brought into the room. The entire effect  is rather stunning. Not to mention it has a little bit of all your favourite things. I remember Mom being a lil pissed at the fact that none of us would get of our asses and come to the dining table together and hence it was getting difficult to time the lighting of the cake but we got our acts together eventually and I loved every moment of that cake.

Birthday 2: Second year at IIFT Kolkata. My birthday was bang in the middle of Durga pooja, one of the biggest and craziest festivals you will ever withness in the eastern parts of India. Its a carnival if you must try and explain it in English. Everyone is on the streets going from one pandal to another( stalls where images and idols of the goddess Durga are put up and massive prayer's organised. however, most people who are tourists like us students in Kolkata for eg visit it for the ambience, food and the adrenaline rush) So on the 15th, I was taking a nice walk in the streets of Salt Lake with one of my friends from the junior batch and I get a call from the hostel. I was expecting a call saying get your ass back here, we are going crazy organising this thing, however they wanted to go pandal hoping instead. i was like sure lets give this a try to, after all I'm in all probability never going to go back to Kolkata again esp during this season. So we set off and it was crazy. It was like the whole city was awake and out. Massive queues with loads of cops keeping an eye on the proceedings. We went ahead and braved the crowds till 4 in the morning when we finally decided to call it a day and return to our hostels. and of course we cut the mandatory 12 o'clock cake at one of the Pandals. It was absolute fun. The next day I had another party on the terrace attached to my hostel room which was awesome and then I went ahead to drop my friend off at the station.

Birthday 3: My first year at HCL or as I like to call it the year I cut 4 cakes. :P First off at Route 04 in CP with Shveta, Rohatgi and Arun after which I went for a night out at Indirapuram with Smitha's place which was followed by a visit to Kingdom of dreams the next day, another cake cutting at my PG and finally one  at the office.

But more than worrying about the lack of plans for this year I think what's got me more freaked out is the fact that I find myself evaluating my life critically now and I am not sure where Im going. Anyways let's hope I figure things out soon. Till then I might as well enjoy myself starting off with my birthday :) 

Movie Marathon

I'd promised I'd give you my own honest, unbiased review of the movies I watch so here I have been on a movie marathon, all for the benefit of you guys. Ok fine, I went on a movie marathon cos I was stuck at the dentist's for an hour and I pushed myself to go through thatordeal so i also was morally obliged to make it up to myself and hence the movie marathon :)  But you guys get the reviews anyways so what do you care how they came your way.


English Vinglish: Awesome. I kind of got it because it tackled a very real issue in india. Men here hardly ever marry their equals. They want women who will stay at home, take care of kids and their parents, cook o.k. let me cut them a little slack they at least want women who are not half as successful as they are so they never get questioned, don't have to push tp prove their point can dominate and have everything their way. I have heard this from guys in IIFT, a pretty good B-school for people unaware of IIFT, that he would rather have his wife sit at home and not work or be bothered about her education cos he does'nt want a Double income no kids family. So coming back to the movie, it tackled the issue of a woman being married with two kids, one of whom is a teenage bitch and is literally ashamed of her mom. The husband though not meaning to , insults her through his insensitivity. So this lady comes to the US to help her widowed sister arrange her daughter's wedding and she joins a learn english in 4 weeks class. And lo and behold, she regains her self-confidence, and does something for herself and in the process still manages to hold on to her family(it's an Indian movie after all) and prove a point to them that she is a free broad minded, can do it woman of today and should really not be taken for granted. I liked Sri-Devi in this movie. And the other highlight of the movie for me was the guy who plays the french chef in the movie Laurent, Mehdi Nebbou. He's super hot and cute at the same time.

Next, Killing them Softly. Good cast, Brad Pitt, Ray Liotta, James Gandolfini. Everything you liked in a good gang/crime movie. Too much gore and card playing and manipulation and plotting for me though. Maybe it was the effect that i had watched something as heart warming as English Vinglish, but these movies have never been up my alley and it's more my fault than theirs, I suppose. i got grossed out by the violence. My brother however will love it and it has got excellent reviews so I would urge you not to go by my words unless your a girl who has not like movies about stealing from gamblers and getting caught and brought to the book for it, trust me there have been a few of these.

And OMG- that's the title of the movie. Not me exclaiming. It was an awesome movie. it preached my philosophy. A middle class man disillusioned with all the rites and rituals surrounding god and places of worship takes on God, when his insurance company refuses to pay up for the damage to his shop in an earthquake citing it as an act of god. He takes on all religious outfits who are monopolizing god and says pay up! In the process he ends up unfolding a lot of conclusions, a) that these rituals and rites are man-made and mostly illogical, benefiting only the priestly classes b) none of these when you think of it is really something God would want you to do if he existed, and being a good person and a true philantrophist will get you much further anyday and c) Just because someone showed you some light of day is no excuse to deify him. There is also an important point made at the end of the movie by one of the main god men, that most people would listen to you for a while but soon when something goes wrong with them they would return to the same temples and do the same things they have done all their lives, fall prey to the rituals because they are more god-fearing than god-loving. Now that was a conclusion I had not reached on my own in the past and I think it's pretty profound. However, I was impressed. I wish it would have an effect on people beyond them watching it for fun. It could change the world a little of people really understood all the underlying messages and behaved themselves. Another conclusion from the movie was never take away anyones religion or faith from them because then they will only turn you into a saint, martyr or god-forbid, god himself :P True and profound. not all human beings have the capacity to go on with life on their own believing that there is nothing out there looking after them. Hell, not many have the capacity to exist believing all religions are same, all people are same and there is one god. you will harm the population more than help them if you take their religion away from them .

All in all 2 thought provoking movie and a third one which I do not appreciate but am sure is good in it's genre because experts of that genre seem to think so. And a very fruitful tiring sunday. Time to sleep. Good night! :)

Not the Dentist again.

Well I went to the dentist today. And I did not like it one bit.. there's something very nasty about being in their chair. i love the fact that it is so huge though. And then the headlights come on scarily and there's a masked man holding you hostage at the tip of a mirror and a  drill :P you better not move unless you want one of your nerve ends to be very painfully brought alive.

And imagine my predicament, not only was there the dentist in that room but also an assistant who apparently was so tired at 11 in the morning that while keeping the suction tube in my mouth he felt the need to rest his head against the lamp which obligingly moved an inch or two to make things more comfortable for him but horrifying for me. And oh there was also the intern, who the dentist very merrily asked to sum up the cavities in my mouth after doing the initial check and had her recite them to him like some nursery rhyme after. 

And then he merrily drilled and suctioned and filled and polished for the next hour much to my agony and chagrin (yes! I finally found a place to use that word) and then he charged much to my dismay :( I should have become a dentist! And it made me think of one of my all time favourite poems which poem sums it up wonderfully. It's one of my favourites by Ogden Nash. If i could meet someone who writes poems like this guy, I'd marry him :P Ive copy pasted it here for your benefit. I hope you have the patience to read through it it always cracks me up. In fact after pasting it down here I sat grinning like an idiot reading through it so please enjoy and reminisce about your own pain because we have all been to the dentist :)

This Is Going To Hurt Just A Little Bit

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self-possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.

And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head thatyou aren’t being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstance that adds most to your terror

Is that it’s all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won’t get mixed up, the way you do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.

And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition

is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.

Up in The Air

I re-watched this movie today. More because of George Clooney and a little because I kind of relate to it. So the movie deals with this HR consultant who works for a firm which handles downsizing of organisations. He seems to be the typical I am a smart guy, I don't need anyone to take care of me, I'm just having a care free existence type and the last thing I want to do is settle or get married. There's also the young girl who he gets burdened with mentoring.

 She's just out of school and has all these ideas with which she wants to revolutionize the world. He is someone who understands the industry, cold-blooded or not, and does not agree with the changes completely. They go through quite a ride interacting with each other. it glamourizes the whole living out of the suitcase, being so career driven that you don't have a home to go to but all the hotels and travel industry people seem to love you. 

However, here's the part which I relate to, not that I'm flying around every few days but I seem to be on the way there. I've earned my degree, I have a good job, since I am in the services industry there is huge scope for travel and customer interaction in the future as I grow and I pick up things fast so hopefully that will be very soon. All this excites me. But there is the flip side. I) live away from my family, so far away in fact that even if I get leave for a week, the best option to get to them fast and give them most of my time is by flight. I see most of my friends settled or on the verge of settling down. And these days this includes kids 2-3 years younger to me and there is absolutely no one out on the horizon even for me. Most of my thoughts from the moment I wake up to the moment I sleep and quite often even when I fall asleep, revolve around meeting the next deadline.

 And I think this is characteristic of most people who have struggled to get a good education. They want to make sure all that effort doesn't go to waste. That they do end up making a difference to the world. They are full of ideas and want to see them come to life. But at what expense? Where is the balance between their work and personal life? Is it lost "Up in The Air"? And this was actually what came to my mind on watching this movie. Where does one draw the line? For someone who has been taught to live by targets and once those are achieved reach for higher ones, does the quest for more ever end? Are we just being greedy? 

Another line which caught my attention " I do not mind being married to my job, I know it's not going to hold me while I sleep in my bed, but I don't want to settle" I do not want to settle. I want to get everything I deserve, everything I work for. I do not want to be in a certain place just because its the right time to be there. The right people and place matter just as much. but what if that never happens? And what if in search of this perfect Shangri-La all the not so perfect but almost there opportunities also walk away forcing me to eventually settle anyways. And that's when I wish there was someone who could look at me and tell me this is what is going to happen to you, if you do this with absolute certainty  the future scares me, the fact that the friends I was used to leaving behind are now leaving me behind in life scares me. Its not the race I'm referring to here, it's my life and there isn't much going right in it right now and that scares me.

I had once foolishly/naively answered the question what's your biggest fear with a bold "Nothing!" A few years later a slightly more aware version of me answered the question with that "I will die alone." I am sitting today at a stage where I have finally realized I was wrong both the times, my biggest fear is that "I will live alone. "

Insecurity

The more I see of the world, the more I think men are the most insecure things on the face of earth. For everything they have almost martial rules set down, and in case something is supposedly peaceful, they still manage to instill a certain martial element into it by just being men. 

What sparks these thoughts on a vacation you ask? Well here it is. I had a best friend. She got married. Since then her husband has massive issues with me speaking to her. The main two issues he has with me that he speaks about are, a) why does she not speak to me instead of you b) why does she not take my advise on her personal matters. Well if thats the problem then a) because you are a good friend but you are not my best friend. b) because I cannot tell u my girlie issues and you're never going to understand them either.  What I genuinelythink is the issue is that, I still remain my ex-best friend's confidant( the reason im insisting on talking about her in the past tense is that, she willingly or unwillingly is being pressurised into behaving the way her husband wants her to). The fact that both of them come from very different backgrounds has a huge role to play in it maybe. But I honestly think that very few Indian guys are brave enough to share their wives' attentions with anyone even if its of the same gender. They are insanely possessive and protective of these women. And they want to own them. Every exchange that poor girl has with the world has to go through them apparently. They have to have a say in the advise their girls give to others whether they are emotionally and mentally equipped to do this does not really matter. 

I believe most women enjoy the possessiveness. But there is a limit to it. The modern educated woman is not only about the house. She has her education and career to take care of too. She can be given some space. and trust too. yes you are not the only person in her life like probably your father was in his wife's life or his grandfather for his grandmother ryt upto the neanderthaal ages. However, you can trust you are the only man in her life and let her have some friends of her own. God knows you have plenty of morons hanging around you all the time. I can't believe the insecurities you suffer from when you get threatened by a girl your wife is friends with. Some emotional intelligence. Well, I have no patience for it. You can keep your wife. I will hereby never be contacting her or you again. All the best and don't look on me as a friend.

Homeward bound

I am going to attempt to rewrite the opening lines of Pride and Prejudice.

Original lines

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters."

Now my version in my context:


"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl in possession of a certain age must be in want of a husband.However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her taking leave to innocently go visit her family, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the all the people in her workplace, that she is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of her native place's young eligible bachelors."

So as you must have guessed from the title, I am leaving for home within the next 5 hrs actually. And this is the supposition in everyone's mind. Some are brave enough to speak it out, some try to hide it but it shows anyways, some managed to hide it and some people are sensible :P

So I was supposed to go on an all girl's trip to Daman, a place close to Mumbai and for which I would have had to fly via Mumbai. Three of the 6 girls in my IIFT group are getting married and we wanted to go out one last tym as an all girls group with no guys attached and have a nice time. Unfortunately th every next day after I managed to get the leave required and book my tickets, one of the brides-to-be( no need to hold your breath, I'm not one of them) met with an accident, tore her ligament and was rendered not entirely useless but unable to move for 3 weeks. So since my mom misses me and keeps asking me to come home and meet her i decided let me go spend time with her instead.

 However, this innocent little thing has turned into such a headache for me because my single status is universally known too. And so the assumptions are Im going home to see guys( I hate arranged marriages people, give me a break.. its the yuckiest thing you could ask me to do). And this is just unfair. A girl can want to just spend some time after completing her education, with herself. Why must she immediately tie herself to domestic monotony with some guy she has never known? I have interests and hopes and dreams( I sound like an educate the girl child commercial now :P) of my own. And im not saying no to marriage but im just thinking let it happen when it has to.. Why are you, the society pushing me into it when my parents are willing to listen to me and not pressurising me into one?

Anyways, to whosoever it interests (though i dont for the life of me see why?) Im not getting married, Im not looking for guys, Im happy as I am and when I want to get married or look for boys, I will make it just as obvious as I have made the fact that I don't want to think about them now, so lets give it a break till then. :)

Just a pick me up!

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening and live like it's heaven on earth- William W Purkey.
Now there' s a quote if there has ever been one. And I don't even know who this guy is. However the fact of the matter is yeah it makes sense, doesn't it? The basic gist of course is, live life without worrying about other's and what they might do to you. there's always that side of you which is going to say i'm going to get hurt and I want to take care of me first but how much are you giving up on to make sure you are never hurt and are you happy to be living a life like that? you will fall and you will pick yourself up. But don't worry about what went wrong. Worry about how you will make it life. There is no success without a failure so if you are making a mistake(not a silly one) it means you are on your way to discovering something new because you dared to choose a path you did not know where it would lead you. You took it and came to a dead end but you will turn and find another nook or cranny you want to explore and someday you will get somewhere. 

Changing the world

So you see what's good and what's not. And if you have a decent head on your shoulder you see at least a dozen improvements required. However, all too often these changes are too big for you to effect on your own. Or the system is so corrupt that any attempt to make a differnce will be squashed mercilessly. So how do you change?

Start small. Change your immediate surroundings. Hope that inspires somneone to change something more. Soon hopefully you will have a domino effect running through and making a difference to a lot more things in a lot of different ways than you set out to change the world int he first place.

Will this really work you ask? You neevr know what will work and what won't? Being told aggression is th eonly way to attain your goals and then doing it finally through complete non-violence(reference the struggle for Indian Independance) is a classic example of this. it's definitely not going to be as easy as if you were able to take complete charge of the whole world and force everything you want down its throat. You may not see the change in your lifetime. But it will happen eventually. You will influence a handful of people who will influence another handful and it will go on and hopefully by the end of it things will fall into place. You may not get the credit for it. But credit's not required here. What's required is that it worked because that's what you set out to do in the first place. 

Seven Deadly Sins? Is that all?

Attitude! I believe this is bred of pure ignorance. Or even arrogance and ego. A state where you think you know so much and are so much better than everyone else that you just start being rude to them all. I have one question to these people, do they realise that it is humanly impossible to know everything, can they please acknowledge for the sake of progress that someone else who wishes to express an opinion might actually have some thing to add of value, something that could be the next innovation no matter how small, that everythign can be bettered and improvement happens only when you have an open mind to it.

Ignorance. You really cannot know everything. Nobody can. If you knew everything life would not be worth living anyways. there is just so much time you can afford to give to improving your skill set and only a certain way you think in. Had you taken the opposite direction when you started looking for knowledge you really would have been better at something else. So lets understand that most of us are ignorant about most of the things. why would you put an end to your learning by thinking you know it all and not letting further education or informtion seep through?

Arrogance. Being good at what you do is one thing. Being good at it and believing noone can do better is another.It stops progress right in its tracks. I already know how to do something and you dont so if you dont agree with me you can just hit the road.

Ego: the word itself oozes out me me me! Get over yourself for heaven's sake there are so many other people who have so much more to add. Please give them a chance. Dont think Im the one responsible/holding a certain position orin a position of authority and hence everyone will do as I please and if they dont i will make their lives hell. Stop.

Maybe this is a capitalistic world. And maybe everythign is dependant on the progress made. In which case the 4 attributes defined earlier are nothing but roadblocks. Maybe it's time to rethink the 7 deadly sins and make some additions to it.

Two movies, One day

I had a busy sunday today. Initially I planned on watching Arbitrage today and leaving Barfi for next weekend. But then there was so much chatter about Barfi, that I decided I'm going to do the back-to-back shows. If there's one thing I love it's being told stories and good ones at that.

So in a nutshell, I found Arbitrage a good movie once again. There was a lot of dilemma a lot of if's and but's and permutations and combinations and bending the rules this way and that so everyone got out ok. It was a smart movie, with awesome actors and a good plot. However, I believe it's not the best movie for the general crowd, at least not in India unless you are speaking about the lot who has the basic knowledge of how business works, negotiations are carried out, out-manouvering the other etc etc. So a comment I got to hear after the movie was I never knew when it began and when it ended. Nor was my roommate pleased with it. But that does'nt matter, I loved the way Richard Gere played this guy who thinks money fixes everything, plays even the "patriarch" role to the core ensuring his kids are fine at any cost. I loved the way "Jimmy" for not knowing the actor's name is the opposite of this, someone who helps Gere's character out of loyalty than material gain and even tries to explain money cant make things go away and displays good moral values and principles throughout. i loved Susan Sarandon's character of being the wife who ignores the faults in her husband for the greater good of her family, and for having the strength to stand up to him when it starts affecting her brood. And Tim Roth gives a very similar to Lie to me performance without analysing the micro-expressions. Here he's toobusy analysing the micro cuts :P

The questions asked at the end are of-course was it fair? Would I have done the same were there so many minor aspect I had to take care of? The answer to the first is a clear no, its absolutely unfair. The second gets dicey; would I not have done everything to ensure that my family comes out fine, even if it hurts my image to them? I would have done that. Everyone is absolutely correct when they said well he should not have been such a class A asshole in the first place, he should not have had the affair, he should not have driven when he was exhausted, he should not have blah blah. But the focus is he did it and now what? What does someone who is a guilty parent and spouse do to protect his family? I loved the layers to the movie. It was fun. And I could go on like this forever but I do want to get to the second one before you get bored. So I think pointing out the layers is good enough for this one go watch the movie and get answers to these questions on your own. Better still ask more questions.

Barfi was as expected a touching film. I loved Ranbir Kapoor in this flick. He was good. It made you laugh and cry. It had some rather strange twists and turns but it was sweet altogether. Barfi is a good family entertainer, though I doubt too many kids below ten will get the intricacies of autism and deaf and dumb people , as I witnessed first hand from the questions being asked by the kid sitting with her parents next to me.

Off the context of Barfi, this is the thing about hindi films though, they are so tailor made to fit the expectations of Indian audiences that they do not give me much fodder to think about or analyse. A comedy is a comedy, a horror flick is gory and stupid for no rhyme or reason and the latest genre India seems to be encouraging, the sprouting of sleazy sex films as drama, the integration of films which should have remained restricted to the bhojpuri audiences into the mainstream, well the lesser said about it by me, the better.



But Coming back to Barfi, it's nice. It does'nt do much for the autistic or the deaf and dumb but it does tell a nice, funny story. Ranbir Kapoor did manage to make you laugh quite a bit, though I had the feeling I had watched similar sequences in the old Charlie Chaplin flicks or the Jackie Chan movies. He manages to make you cry too. I liked the simplicity in his logic of love. They managed to get the flashback manner of showing the movie pretty correct too though at one stage I was confused in the sequence.

 It's a good movie by Indian standards. And I don't think I'd be going too far when I say Ranbir Kapoor is really blossoming as an actor who fits all sizes. I was rooting for Imran Khan when both of them were introduced, almost at the same time actually,  but Ranbir Kapoor seems to be beating him hollow as far as the variety in acting is concerned. it's nice to see a guy who's actually acting different roles and characters out for a change rather than doing the same thing in every movie he does which is so the case with most Indian actors. I'm definitely impressed by the movie and its lead actor.

Thought's on a funny pic.

Lol! How many of us actually agree with this? And the answer is probably going to be, all of us! We might not want to admit it but this picture is funny because most of us look at it and think, " hmm, wait a minute! That's exactly what I was thinking right now" Oh the source of the pic is a friend's wall on Facebook btw.

Now, here's the theory. Maybe we were being unrealistic when we first decided to pick someone we like after all. Maybe there is a certain age old wisdom underlying the whole, arranged marriage thing. Whow knows our needs better than our parents? So why not let them pick. At least I'm not gettting my heart plucked out mercilessly stomped upon and then returned to me in a state where I wish it would stop working rather than painfully dragging on through what remains of life.

And then again one thinks how unromantic! really you could not find one person. Or maybe it's just I stopped trusting people after the first one. Now when I even think of a guy, i'm so sure he's gonna leave me that I don't want to go down that path again. Maybe it's me coming to terms with reality, something my brother says will help me figure life out. Figure out who you are and then accordingly try to match it. But one's always partial to oneself. So I think I'm a million times smarter than I really am and a lot prettier too, which is a bit of a question really cos I think the max I pass off is cute or attractive in reality. But then again I'm hoping the adage beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder is really true. And if Swati happens to read this, I'm going to get a nice kick on my ass. But, here's the logic, if I were to do a realistic evaluation I would probably know what range I fit in, thereby ensuring I don't over-reach right?

There's another angle to it too. Why do I have to think about the one I fall in love with? Why does he have to be a certain age, certain qualification, certain family, certain, I don't know economic strata? Obviously i'm not gonna say pick a beggar off the street but what if there is someone who does'nt fit the mould and yet you wish it was him. Just because he makes you feel safe and secure and you trust him. At the end of the day if I need to spend my life with someone is'nt that more important? So should the heart then be let loose without the mind's control to just come to it's own conclusions? Would that require a certain amount of detachment and keeping a reality check too since if it does'nt work, it really should not affect me.

A friend of mine gave me an interesting analysis, disconnected with the above discussion of course. This was when I had my breakup. There are three scenarios,
a) the girl loves the boy more: this will never work, cos the girl will put him up on some pedestal he does'nt deserve to be on and then he is sure to leave cos guys are dogs and they are always looking for the meatier bone
b) they both love each other equally: most likely to occur from an arranged marriage I guess b'cos both of you don't know each other and are trying to figure it out and know you are stuck together anyways so might as well make the most of it. I find them such a compromise, I wish I did'nt really I do but I can't bring myself to be so practical about something so, or which I hope is so romantic
c) the guy loves the girl more: This has the highest probability of success because usually girls prefer being with one guy and if the dude meets the basic requirements then it can be worked out. In fact I've seen it work for most of my friends who have married their boyfriends.

But the thing with situation c is, is'nt it manipulating the guy? Are'nt you pretending to be happy or stopping the lookout because it's more convenient for you? I think a and c are essentially the same with the only exception being the gender. If the girl in c is more like a guy ( I hope you  get the drift ) then she is as liklely to break the poor guy's heart as the guy in a would break the girl's heart there. So is it all just a big lie? Does love not exist? Do we just decide that this is the point in my life where I want to settle down and then the person you are with at that point of time is the right person( i'm pretty sure this thought has come from some romantic comedy I watched, I can't recall which one though).

Anyways, like many of my questions I've left this one unanswered and more jumbled up too. It's a libran thing I think:P

p.s.: I am not in a relationship, hoping to get in one, getting married or seeing guys to get into an arranged marriage. These were the thoughts that came to my mind when I saw the pic and I put them down. I know how people jump to conclusions when they read such things and hence the rather lengthy disclaimer. Besides if any of the above were happening I would have been more inclined towards believing love exists and you would have known by the mood of my posts. So don't ask me stupid questions here or over the phone. :D 

How to catch a mouse in 40 minutes!

So we have a mice infestation apparently. :( Ok its not really an infestation but occasionally we do get the odd mouse and I hate them.. silly disgusting vermin! Anyways so a couple of nights ago Kiran, my roomie came running into my room at 2 saying a mouse has been caught in the trap in the storeroom. Naturally at 2:00 in the night, I'd rather do other things than chuck mice out the house, so I said I would look into it tomorrow as she had thrown the previous mouse caught in the trap . So it was my turn this time.

Oh, let me describe the mouse trap to you. It's not the boring old one, its a modern mouse trap called 'trouble gum'. So basically it's a piece of cardboard, and a lot of glue on it. The glue is damn powerful;. One of my previour roomies had stepped onto it once and it stuck to her slipper so bad that the only way we could get her loose was by cutting through the glue. So when a mouse runs on it, it gets stuck and struggles and struggles and struggles but can't get off.

Now back to the story. I wake up the next day really late cos I was not well. Kiran was all ready to walk out to work by then so I see her off. Then I decide to go check on the dead mouse. To my surprise, it's not there any more. The glue however is messed up  to make me suspect fishy activity. I start with the theory that a stray cat had come in again and managed to pull the mouse off the thing and eat it. But as I'm about to leave the store-room I hear a shuffling noise. I look around and I see a "Chichundar" (bigger rodent with a triangular face, not known to bite people but makes a loud squeaking noise to express it's presence). It's happily stuck to a bag lying around. This thing had gone and eaten my mouse and in the process got enough glue on its hind legs and back side to get stuck, to the cloth bag. Thankfully it was an empty cloth bag. However the things front half was merrily  free and he was struggling to get away from the bag. Oh and to make matters worse, he had actually managed to also get the strap of a duffel bag lying nearby stuck between his belly and the cloth bag.

This was a bigger dilemma than just getting rid of a mouse caught in the trap. I had no idea how I could get rid of this monstrosity? I couldn't lift it because unline a mouse caught on the trap which I could lift like a hard cover book thanks to the stiffness of the cardboard,I could not lift this  and chuck it into a garbage bag. What do i do now? I decided maybe I should throw the mouse trap on top of it so it would stick to it and I could flip it on the back and chuck it out. However me being scared i threw the trap on it also in such a way that only the rear half was covered so now this thing turns its upper body and viciously started biting the cardboard. This freaked me out even more.Not knowing  what to do  I called my dad up who stays thousands of kms away from me and begged him to give me the strength to kick this thing out. He told me take a stick and give it a nice whack on its head and kill it. I told him to give me a better idea and hung up. I contemplated spraying it with the cockroach spray. However that idea was given up because it would have taken me forever to spray it with insecticide before it died. Finally dad told me throw a rag on it, use rubber gloves to pick it up and chuck it. This made sense

But it was definitely not that easy. I had to ensure the cloth would cover it properly unlike my last attempt at covering the thing with a mouse trap/ I tore an old pair of jeans which was to be chucked out and went and threw it on the rat. As soon as it landed on him it started shrieking which made me even more terrified.

Great, so now I have a covered menace to get rid of. I definitely wasn't going to lift it with my hand,. So I went looking for the trusty broom and sweeping pan. Having brought these in I made my first attempt to sweeping the whole pile onto it. Obviously the thing started shrieking again. Which made me throw the whole thing down and start jumping and shrieking on my own.Somehow this made the rodent go quiet. I made another attempt to sweep it onto the pan. This time I got it all there. I again laid the pan down and did my ritual of jumping and shrieking which looking back sounds really stupid.  Finally I forced myself to be brave and throw it in the huge dustbin bags we had in the house, tie it up without looking at what I had just chucked in. Once done i chucked it out with the garbage. And that is how I caught a mouse/humongous rodent in 40 minutes. To reward myself I called my brother up who had just woken up and described the whole incident to him in all the gory details. He hates me now and is scarred for life, but what are siblings for if not to help you cope with your difficulties so I don't mind. 

In memory of Whiskey

This had to be completed. :) Its almost the most well known fact about me that I love cats. There's something about the curiosity which could kill that amuses and appeals to my innermost core and I feel they need to be sheltered taught and taken care of. So I couldnt help it, when I got a call from my hostel around 7ish one evening saying, we found an abandoned kitten in the hostel can you come see? I rushed back dropping all my chores( dont worry all student body stuff, not the studies!!) I saw the most amazing litten, it hadnt even opened it's eyes. It was frail, unable to maintain its balance and it'seyes had not even opened. I was filled with love for it instantaneously but at the same time knew it was fated to die very soon. For no mother cat would leave her baby alone unless she had abandoned it.

But I was the only girl who had had a cat there, and the other girls were full of wonder and didnt want to get rid of it, so we quickly organised a box for it from cotton and shoe boxes. One of the day scholars was asked to rush to the hostel with a syringe so I could get some milk into it and keep it alive. And I cleaned its eyes so it could see. It was magical once again.

it soon became a routine, I would feed it bathe it, leave it withthe guard who would feed it and then i'd come back home again to my baby, who'd be waiting for me inspite of all the attention she was getting from the other inhabitants of my hostel who'd just be clamouring for a piece of her.

Days turned to weeks, I was surprised she'd survived. She was never strong but she was lively and playful and curious.  Id often wake up to find she had cleverly scaled up my bag and come and curled up near my chest finding it warm and comfy and close to me. This scared me many a times cos i never felty her creeping into bed with me and i wondered how easy it would be for the huge bulk of me to crush her tiny life out. One of the most morbid thoughts I have had

That's her on Minal's PC. Pushing away and enjoying the noises erupting from the thing. And of course pee-ing on Sankalp :P

  However we soon noticed her tummy was bulging but her ribs were showing. I took her to the vet and he said she had worms. He didnt give a very good diagnosis for her but we did change the food and force feed her her medicines. It wasnt easy.

 She was just such a fragile thing. but she was always admired wherever i took her. My lil kitten with a cute bow around her neck. I pulled her out for durga pooja celebrations one, thought it would be a treat for my sickly kitten to see a bit of the world. she was excited initially as we left the gates of the hostel cos she had been this far but as we went further she was terrified. But the crowds loved her. It was funny me with my kitty at a durga pooja pandal :P and a small crown of kolkatans standing and petting her... :)


 I remember on my bday, I woke up late and decided i had to feed her first. In my sleepy state i locked my room behind me without the keys as i rushed to get her milk. when i returned thr was no way in. I called frantically for the lock smith. He took his own sweet tym to come. I was worried sick. Finally after 2 hrs of this i was in and i found her scared and curled up in my clothes in the bathroom as she didnt know where else to hide. She got pampered for the rest of the day.

She grew weaker and weaker. and she was sick all the time. one particular day she was specifically sick. She would not eat wouldnt drink and kept meowing. For some reason I was upset that day and I was not particularly patient. She kept trying to get near my bed and i pushed her into her box at the head of my bed. I was upset she was not responding and dat she didnt see all the food and meds were for her good. I was helpless cos I couldnt force them down her throat. That was the last day I spent with Whisky. When I awoke I found her on her back, legs in the air liek she'd tried to escape and fallen with a blue nose. It was the most horrible day of my life. We burried her in the garden. It turns out this is a common reaction young ones have when the milk they drank changes and they kind of suffocate in the morning when it gets cooler. Im not sure why. My last moments with Whisky had been ones where I was angry, and had forced her to sleep alone against her wish. Its the one thing I would change in my life if I could. I regret not having been more patient with her that day. And I miss her terribly. I did love her a lot. May she rest in peace maybe it's better this way than having to eke out a life everyday struggling to do things which are normal for other kittens. Maybe we should have let her go the way her mom did when she abandoned her but that would have been cruel.... She will always remain my pet and my baby and Im super proud of whatever she did achieve cos I know what a struggle even that was for her. Here's to remembering Whisky forever .

3 short stories

Been super long since I put something down here, partly because ever since my breakup last year, i have found it easier to express my feelings through poems.. maybe there is some truth behind the college canteen owners advice to Ranbir kapoor in Rockstar. Thankfully, I no longer care about my ex, even though he is now not only in the same city as me but also the same organisation. Imagine the irony in that! Anyways moving to better topics, let me just keep this simple since I really don't have an agenda behind this post apart from making my presence felt :P So three short stories

a) I yelled at my the guy who provides me with my cooking gas cylinders today. They guy came to replace my cylinder without me inviting him. he insisted on replacing the thing after suggesting it would last only a day. Later when i was trying to cook, it simply would not light up. I immediately called up the gas wala to yell at him for giving me an empty cylinder.  after making sure i calmed down he asked me what was going on. I said its not lighting and i can smell gas too.. what kind of a cylinder have you given me, to which he replied, Madam aapka lighter kharaab hua hain(your lighter is not working) :)

b) I've subscribed to this poet called MerlinS, don't ask me why. Half of his poems are about heartbreak and justifying his role in every poem he jots down. I wonder if he has so many relationships maybe there is something wrong with him.

c) I was talking to meditative girl (iiftians will know who I mean) and went if i dont finish this today my RM will kick my ass n imitated being picked by the collar of my shirt and getting kicked to her and she looks  at me with big brown eyes and goes really???:P:D

There i have cmpltd 3 stories nw... see you later 

Pani Puri!

A boring friday morning, tending towards afternoon actually and I am settled in a conference room with my new team. Im trying my best to look as busy as I can meddling around on my Desktop and hoping nobody realises that what I am really doing is thinking about my previous office and all the friends I left behind there. The new team is a good mix of new people hired from all over literally so we have people from andhra, chennai, delhi, haryana, rajasthan and of course, maharashtra(yours truly). Suddenly a stray sentence from the technical people's group catches my attention. the lady goes "hum toh nahi bolte yahaan ki pani puri wahaan se acchi nahin hain.. Kitne gande ho". To which the Andhra guy goes "but the pani puri from andhra is brilliant. There are all flavours of water there. Here there is only one". And it makes me think about the golgappas of delhi, pani puri of mumbai and probably the south and the puchhkas of Kolkata. These are the three variants I have tried and though the essence remains the same the flavours vary drastically across the country with Kolkata making a sour, spicy liquid, Delhi with its sweet 'imli' and suji(semolina) puri variation and Mumbai of course with the ragda and the mint/pudina chutney or sometimes pulses but definitely not boiled potatoes as with the other two places. And then I remember how passionate each region's people are about their version of this simple dish. And its fun to see the love for their own cuisine and culture. But at the same time one wonders how is this mixture of so many different people, each thinking they are better than the other surviving as a country? Why not just accept differences and enjoy the change than be caught up in a senseless "what my ancestors have been doing is the only right thing to do and I will not evolve" attitude? This thought always leaves me confused about my fellow countrymen( is countrywomen valid?). Lets just hope that at the end of it we are a more stable team than the easily disoluble pani puri.

What's in a name?

Well I was going through a friends blog actually and it revolved around a magazine run in their organsisation named horizon. And it got me thinking, whats the obsession Indians have with names? Do they really think naming something after a specific god, flower, tree, place is gonna guarantee the character/shop/book/restaurant will just automatically imbibe the qualities of that thing? I have come across so many magazines titled horizon or the indian version of it(Kshitij, which incidentally is the origin of my name too and makes me feel like Im on cloud 9) that I think its become cliche now. Where has the originality gone? Why not come up with something more in sync with your organisation or school than the normal done and expected thing. Its almost as if people are so desperate to belong and so blinded by faith and religion that they will do anything just to court success(or what they think will bring them success). Its not about the name or extending this the rings you wear but what you do and how you act because for every Sachin Tendulkar, there are a million other Sachins who are absolutely hopeless at the game and for every Mohammad Ajmal Kasab, there are a million other Mohammads who are peaceful human beings. Also note the ultimate irony, Mohammad was also the name of the prophet who gave millions of followers a new religion and belief. So whats the point, be creative, be rational thinking human beings, be DIFFERENT!!!