Sunday, October 7, 2012

Not the Dentist again.

Well I went to the dentist today. And I did not like it one bit.. there's something very nasty about being in their chair. i love the fact that it is so huge though. And then the headlights come on scarily and there's a masked man holding you hostage at the tip of a mirror and a  drill :P you better not move unless you want one of your nerve ends to be very painfully brought alive.

And imagine my predicament, not only was there the dentist in that room but also an assistant who apparently was so tired at 11 in the morning that while keeping the suction tube in my mouth he felt the need to rest his head against the lamp which obligingly moved an inch or two to make things more comfortable for him but horrifying for me. And oh there was also the intern, who the dentist very merrily asked to sum up the cavities in my mouth after doing the initial check and had her recite them to him like some nursery rhyme after. 

And then he merrily drilled and suctioned and filled and polished for the next hour much to my agony and chagrin (yes! I finally found a place to use that word) and then he charged much to my dismay :( I should have become a dentist! And it made me think of one of my all time favourite poems which poem sums it up wonderfully. It's one of my favourites by Ogden Nash. If i could meet someone who writes poems like this guy, I'd marry him :P Ive copy pasted it here for your benefit. I hope you have the patience to read through it it always cracks me up. In fact after pasting it down here I sat grinning like an idiot reading through it so please enjoy and reminisce about your own pain because we have all been to the dentist :)

This Is Going To Hurt Just A Little Bit

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head thatyou aren’t being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it’s all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won’t get mixed up, the way you do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition
when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.

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