Homeward bound

I am going to attempt to rewrite the opening lines of Pride and Prejudice.

Original lines

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters."

Now my version in my context:


"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl in possession of a certain age must be in want of a husband.However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her taking leave to innocently go visit her family, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the all the people in her workplace, that she is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of her native place's young eligible bachelors."

So as you must have guessed from the title, I am leaving for home within the next 5 hrs actually. And this is the supposition in everyone's mind. Some are brave enough to speak it out, some try to hide it but it shows anyways, some managed to hide it and some people are sensible :P

So I was supposed to go on an all girl's trip to Daman, a place close to Mumbai and for which I would have had to fly via Mumbai. Three of the 6 girls in my IIFT group are getting married and we wanted to go out one last tym as an all girls group with no guys attached and have a nice time. Unfortunately th every next day after I managed to get the leave required and book my tickets, one of the brides-to-be( no need to hold your breath, I'm not one of them) met with an accident, tore her ligament and was rendered not entirely useless but unable to move for 3 weeks. So since my mom misses me and keeps asking me to come home and meet her i decided let me go spend time with her instead.

 However, this innocent little thing has turned into such a headache for me because my single status is universally known too. And so the assumptions are Im going home to see guys( I hate arranged marriages people, give me a break.. its the yuckiest thing you could ask me to do). And this is just unfair. A girl can want to just spend some time after completing her education, with herself. Why must she immediately tie herself to domestic monotony with some guy she has never known? I have interests and hopes and dreams( I sound like an educate the girl child commercial now :P) of my own. And im not saying no to marriage but im just thinking let it happen when it has to.. Why are you, the society pushing me into it when my parents are willing to listen to me and not pressurising me into one?

Anyways, to whosoever it interests (though i dont for the life of me see why?) Im not getting married, Im not looking for guys, Im happy as I am and when I want to get married or look for boys, I will make it just as obvious as I have made the fact that I don't want to think about them now, so lets give it a break till then. :)

Just a pick me up!

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching, Love like you'll never be hurt, Sing like there's nobody listening and live like it's heaven on earth- William W Purkey.
Now there' s a quote if there has ever been one. And I don't even know who this guy is. However the fact of the matter is yeah it makes sense, doesn't it? The basic gist of course is, live life without worrying about other's and what they might do to you. there's always that side of you which is going to say i'm going to get hurt and I want to take care of me first but how much are you giving up on to make sure you are never hurt and are you happy to be living a life like that? you will fall and you will pick yourself up. But don't worry about what went wrong. Worry about how you will make it life. There is no success without a failure so if you are making a mistake(not a silly one) it means you are on your way to discovering something new because you dared to choose a path you did not know where it would lead you. You took it and came to a dead end but you will turn and find another nook or cranny you want to explore and someday you will get somewhere. 

Changing the world

So you see what's good and what's not. And if you have a decent head on your shoulder you see at least a dozen improvements required. However, all too often these changes are too big for you to effect on your own. Or the system is so corrupt that any attempt to make a differnce will be squashed mercilessly. So how do you change?

Start small. Change your immediate surroundings. Hope that inspires somneone to change something more. Soon hopefully you will have a domino effect running through and making a difference to a lot more things in a lot of different ways than you set out to change the world int he first place.

Will this really work you ask? You neevr know what will work and what won't? Being told aggression is th eonly way to attain your goals and then doing it finally through complete non-violence(reference the struggle for Indian Independance) is a classic example of this. it's definitely not going to be as easy as if you were able to take complete charge of the whole world and force everything you want down its throat. You may not see the change in your lifetime. But it will happen eventually. You will influence a handful of people who will influence another handful and it will go on and hopefully by the end of it things will fall into place. You may not get the credit for it. But credit's not required here. What's required is that it worked because that's what you set out to do in the first place. 

Seven Deadly Sins? Is that all?

Attitude! I believe this is bred of pure ignorance. Or even arrogance and ego. A state where you think you know so much and are so much better than everyone else that you just start being rude to them all. I have one question to these people, do they realise that it is humanly impossible to know everything, can they please acknowledge for the sake of progress that someone else who wishes to express an opinion might actually have some thing to add of value, something that could be the next innovation no matter how small, that everythign can be bettered and improvement happens only when you have an open mind to it.

Ignorance. You really cannot know everything. Nobody can. If you knew everything life would not be worth living anyways. there is just so much time you can afford to give to improving your skill set and only a certain way you think in. Had you taken the opposite direction when you started looking for knowledge you really would have been better at something else. So lets understand that most of us are ignorant about most of the things. why would you put an end to your learning by thinking you know it all and not letting further education or informtion seep through?

Arrogance. Being good at what you do is one thing. Being good at it and believing noone can do better is another.It stops progress right in its tracks. I already know how to do something and you dont so if you dont agree with me you can just hit the road.

Ego: the word itself oozes out me me me! Get over yourself for heaven's sake there are so many other people who have so much more to add. Please give them a chance. Dont think Im the one responsible/holding a certain position orin a position of authority and hence everyone will do as I please and if they dont i will make their lives hell. Stop.

Maybe this is a capitalistic world. And maybe everythign is dependant on the progress made. In which case the 4 attributes defined earlier are nothing but roadblocks. Maybe it's time to rethink the 7 deadly sins and make some additions to it.

Two movies, One day

I had a busy sunday today. Initially I planned on watching Arbitrage today and leaving Barfi for next weekend. But then there was so much chatter about Barfi, that I decided I'm going to do the back-to-back shows. If there's one thing I love it's being told stories and good ones at that.

So in a nutshell, I found Arbitrage a good movie once again. There was a lot of dilemma a lot of if's and but's and permutations and combinations and bending the rules this way and that so everyone got out ok. It was a smart movie, with awesome actors and a good plot. However, I believe it's not the best movie for the general crowd, at least not in India unless you are speaking about the lot who has the basic knowledge of how business works, negotiations are carried out, out-manouvering the other etc etc. So a comment I got to hear after the movie was I never knew when it began and when it ended. Nor was my roommate pleased with it. But that does'nt matter, I loved the way Richard Gere played this guy who thinks money fixes everything, plays even the "patriarch" role to the core ensuring his kids are fine at any cost. I loved the way "Jimmy" for not knowing the actor's name is the opposite of this, someone who helps Gere's character out of loyalty than material gain and even tries to explain money cant make things go away and displays good moral values and principles throughout. i loved Susan Sarandon's character of being the wife who ignores the faults in her husband for the greater good of her family, and for having the strength to stand up to him when it starts affecting her brood. And Tim Roth gives a very similar to Lie to me performance without analysing the micro-expressions. Here he's toobusy analysing the micro cuts :P

The questions asked at the end are of-course was it fair? Would I have done the same were there so many minor aspect I had to take care of? The answer to the first is a clear no, its absolutely unfair. The second gets dicey; would I not have done everything to ensure that my family comes out fine, even if it hurts my image to them? I would have done that. Everyone is absolutely correct when they said well he should not have been such a class A asshole in the first place, he should not have had the affair, he should not have driven when he was exhausted, he should not have blah blah. But the focus is he did it and now what? What does someone who is a guilty parent and spouse do to protect his family? I loved the layers to the movie. It was fun. And I could go on like this forever but I do want to get to the second one before you get bored. So I think pointing out the layers is good enough for this one go watch the movie and get answers to these questions on your own. Better still ask more questions.

Barfi was as expected a touching film. I loved Ranbir Kapoor in this flick. He was good. It made you laugh and cry. It had some rather strange twists and turns but it was sweet altogether. Barfi is a good family entertainer, though I doubt too many kids below ten will get the intricacies of autism and deaf and dumb people , as I witnessed first hand from the questions being asked by the kid sitting with her parents next to me.

Off the context of Barfi, this is the thing about hindi films though, they are so tailor made to fit the expectations of Indian audiences that they do not give me much fodder to think about or analyse. A comedy is a comedy, a horror flick is gory and stupid for no rhyme or reason and the latest genre India seems to be encouraging, the sprouting of sleazy sex films as drama, the integration of films which should have remained restricted to the bhojpuri audiences into the mainstream, well the lesser said about it by me, the better.



But Coming back to Barfi, it's nice. It does'nt do much for the autistic or the deaf and dumb but it does tell a nice, funny story. Ranbir Kapoor did manage to make you laugh quite a bit, though I had the feeling I had watched similar sequences in the old Charlie Chaplin flicks or the Jackie Chan movies. He manages to make you cry too. I liked the simplicity in his logic of love. They managed to get the flashback manner of showing the movie pretty correct too though at one stage I was confused in the sequence.

 It's a good movie by Indian standards. And I don't think I'd be going too far when I say Ranbir Kapoor is really blossoming as an actor who fits all sizes. I was rooting for Imran Khan when both of them were introduced, almost at the same time actually,  but Ranbir Kapoor seems to be beating him hollow as far as the variety in acting is concerned. it's nice to see a guy who's actually acting different roles and characters out for a change rather than doing the same thing in every movie he does which is so the case with most Indian actors. I'm definitely impressed by the movie and its lead actor.

Thought's on a funny pic.

Lol! How many of us actually agree with this? And the answer is probably going to be, all of us! We might not want to admit it but this picture is funny because most of us look at it and think, " hmm, wait a minute! That's exactly what I was thinking right now" Oh the source of the pic is a friend's wall on Facebook btw.

Now, here's the theory. Maybe we were being unrealistic when we first decided to pick someone we like after all. Maybe there is a certain age old wisdom underlying the whole, arranged marriage thing. Whow knows our needs better than our parents? So why not let them pick. At least I'm not gettting my heart plucked out mercilessly stomped upon and then returned to me in a state where I wish it would stop working rather than painfully dragging on through what remains of life.

And then again one thinks how unromantic! really you could not find one person. Or maybe it's just I stopped trusting people after the first one. Now when I even think of a guy, i'm so sure he's gonna leave me that I don't want to go down that path again. Maybe it's me coming to terms with reality, something my brother says will help me figure life out. Figure out who you are and then accordingly try to match it. But one's always partial to oneself. So I think I'm a million times smarter than I really am and a lot prettier too, which is a bit of a question really cos I think the max I pass off is cute or attractive in reality. But then again I'm hoping the adage beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder is really true. And if Swati happens to read this, I'm going to get a nice kick on my ass. But, here's the logic, if I were to do a realistic evaluation I would probably know what range I fit in, thereby ensuring I don't over-reach right?

There's another angle to it too. Why do I have to think about the one I fall in love with? Why does he have to be a certain age, certain qualification, certain family, certain, I don't know economic strata? Obviously i'm not gonna say pick a beggar off the street but what if there is someone who does'nt fit the mould and yet you wish it was him. Just because he makes you feel safe and secure and you trust him. At the end of the day if I need to spend my life with someone is'nt that more important? So should the heart then be let loose without the mind's control to just come to it's own conclusions? Would that require a certain amount of detachment and keeping a reality check too since if it does'nt work, it really should not affect me.

A friend of mine gave me an interesting analysis, disconnected with the above discussion of course. This was when I had my breakup. There are three scenarios,
a) the girl loves the boy more: this will never work, cos the girl will put him up on some pedestal he does'nt deserve to be on and then he is sure to leave cos guys are dogs and they are always looking for the meatier bone
b) they both love each other equally: most likely to occur from an arranged marriage I guess b'cos both of you don't know each other and are trying to figure it out and know you are stuck together anyways so might as well make the most of it. I find them such a compromise, I wish I did'nt really I do but I can't bring myself to be so practical about something so, or which I hope is so romantic
c) the guy loves the girl more: This has the highest probability of success because usually girls prefer being with one guy and if the dude meets the basic requirements then it can be worked out. In fact I've seen it work for most of my friends who have married their boyfriends.

But the thing with situation c is, is'nt it manipulating the guy? Are'nt you pretending to be happy or stopping the lookout because it's more convenient for you? I think a and c are essentially the same with the only exception being the gender. If the girl in c is more like a guy ( I hope you  get the drift ) then she is as liklely to break the poor guy's heart as the guy in a would break the girl's heart there. So is it all just a big lie? Does love not exist? Do we just decide that this is the point in my life where I want to settle down and then the person you are with at that point of time is the right person( i'm pretty sure this thought has come from some romantic comedy I watched, I can't recall which one though).

Anyways, like many of my questions I've left this one unanswered and more jumbled up too. It's a libran thing I think:P

p.s.: I am not in a relationship, hoping to get in one, getting married or seeing guys to get into an arranged marriage. These were the thoughts that came to my mind when I saw the pic and I put them down. I know how people jump to conclusions when they read such things and hence the rather lengthy disclaimer. Besides if any of the above were happening I would have been more inclined towards believing love exists and you would have known by the mood of my posts. So don't ask me stupid questions here or over the phone. :D 

How to catch a mouse in 40 minutes!

So we have a mice infestation apparently. :( Ok its not really an infestation but occasionally we do get the odd mouse and I hate them.. silly disgusting vermin! Anyways so a couple of nights ago Kiran, my roomie came running into my room at 2 saying a mouse has been caught in the trap in the storeroom. Naturally at 2:00 in the night, I'd rather do other things than chuck mice out the house, so I said I would look into it tomorrow as she had thrown the previous mouse caught in the trap . So it was my turn this time.

Oh, let me describe the mouse trap to you. It's not the boring old one, its a modern mouse trap called 'trouble gum'. So basically it's a piece of cardboard, and a lot of glue on it. The glue is damn powerful;. One of my previour roomies had stepped onto it once and it stuck to her slipper so bad that the only way we could get her loose was by cutting through the glue. So when a mouse runs on it, it gets stuck and struggles and struggles and struggles but can't get off.

Now back to the story. I wake up the next day really late cos I was not well. Kiran was all ready to walk out to work by then so I see her off. Then I decide to go check on the dead mouse. To my surprise, it's not there any more. The glue however is messed up  to make me suspect fishy activity. I start with the theory that a stray cat had come in again and managed to pull the mouse off the thing and eat it. But as I'm about to leave the store-room I hear a shuffling noise. I look around and I see a "Chichundar" (bigger rodent with a triangular face, not known to bite people but makes a loud squeaking noise to express it's presence). It's happily stuck to a bag lying around. This thing had gone and eaten my mouse and in the process got enough glue on its hind legs and back side to get stuck, to the cloth bag. Thankfully it was an empty cloth bag. However the things front half was merrily  free and he was struggling to get away from the bag. Oh and to make matters worse, he had actually managed to also get the strap of a duffel bag lying nearby stuck between his belly and the cloth bag.

This was a bigger dilemma than just getting rid of a mouse caught in the trap. I had no idea how I could get rid of this monstrosity? I couldn't lift it because unline a mouse caught on the trap which I could lift like a hard cover book thanks to the stiffness of the cardboard,I could not lift this  and chuck it into a garbage bag. What do i do now? I decided maybe I should throw the mouse trap on top of it so it would stick to it and I could flip it on the back and chuck it out. However me being scared i threw the trap on it also in such a way that only the rear half was covered so now this thing turns its upper body and viciously started biting the cardboard. This freaked me out even more.Not knowing  what to do  I called my dad up who stays thousands of kms away from me and begged him to give me the strength to kick this thing out. He told me take a stick and give it a nice whack on its head and kill it. I told him to give me a better idea and hung up. I contemplated spraying it with the cockroach spray. However that idea was given up because it would have taken me forever to spray it with insecticide before it died. Finally dad told me throw a rag on it, use rubber gloves to pick it up and chuck it. This made sense

But it was definitely not that easy. I had to ensure the cloth would cover it properly unlike my last attempt at covering the thing with a mouse trap/ I tore an old pair of jeans which was to be chucked out and went and threw it on the rat. As soon as it landed on him it started shrieking which made me even more terrified.

Great, so now I have a covered menace to get rid of. I definitely wasn't going to lift it with my hand,. So I went looking for the trusty broom and sweeping pan. Having brought these in I made my first attempt to sweeping the whole pile onto it. Obviously the thing started shrieking again. Which made me throw the whole thing down and start jumping and shrieking on my own.Somehow this made the rodent go quiet. I made another attempt to sweep it onto the pan. This time I got it all there. I again laid the pan down and did my ritual of jumping and shrieking which looking back sounds really stupid.  Finally I forced myself to be brave and throw it in the huge dustbin bags we had in the house, tie it up without looking at what I had just chucked in. Once done i chucked it out with the garbage. And that is how I caught a mouse/humongous rodent in 40 minutes. To reward myself I called my brother up who had just woken up and described the whole incident to him in all the gory details. He hates me now and is scarred for life, but what are siblings for if not to help you cope with your difficulties so I don't mind. 

In memory of Whiskey

This had to be completed. :) Its almost the most well known fact about me that I love cats. There's something about the curiosity which could kill that amuses and appeals to my innermost core and I feel they need to be sheltered taught and taken care of. So I couldnt help it, when I got a call from my hostel around 7ish one evening saying, we found an abandoned kitten in the hostel can you come see? I rushed back dropping all my chores( dont worry all student body stuff, not the studies!!) I saw the most amazing litten, it hadnt even opened it's eyes. It was frail, unable to maintain its balance and it'seyes had not even opened. I was filled with love for it instantaneously but at the same time knew it was fated to die very soon. For no mother cat would leave her baby alone unless she had abandoned it.

But I was the only girl who had had a cat there, and the other girls were full of wonder and didnt want to get rid of it, so we quickly organised a box for it from cotton and shoe boxes. One of the day scholars was asked to rush to the hostel with a syringe so I could get some milk into it and keep it alive. And I cleaned its eyes so it could see. It was magical once again.

it soon became a routine, I would feed it bathe it, leave it withthe guard who would feed it and then i'd come back home again to my baby, who'd be waiting for me inspite of all the attention she was getting from the other inhabitants of my hostel who'd just be clamouring for a piece of her.

Days turned to weeks, I was surprised she'd survived. She was never strong but she was lively and playful and curious.  Id often wake up to find she had cleverly scaled up my bag and come and curled up near my chest finding it warm and comfy and close to me. This scared me many a times cos i never felty her creeping into bed with me and i wondered how easy it would be for the huge bulk of me to crush her tiny life out. One of the most morbid thoughts I have had

That's her on Minal's PC. Pushing away and enjoying the noises erupting from the thing. And of course pee-ing on Sankalp :P

  However we soon noticed her tummy was bulging but her ribs were showing. I took her to the vet and he said she had worms. He didnt give a very good diagnosis for her but we did change the food and force feed her her medicines. It wasnt easy.

 She was just such a fragile thing. but she was always admired wherever i took her. My lil kitten with a cute bow around her neck. I pulled her out for durga pooja celebrations one, thought it would be a treat for my sickly kitten to see a bit of the world. she was excited initially as we left the gates of the hostel cos she had been this far but as we went further she was terrified. But the crowds loved her. It was funny me with my kitty at a durga pooja pandal :P and a small crown of kolkatans standing and petting her... :)


 I remember on my bday, I woke up late and decided i had to feed her first. In my sleepy state i locked my room behind me without the keys as i rushed to get her milk. when i returned thr was no way in. I called frantically for the lock smith. He took his own sweet tym to come. I was worried sick. Finally after 2 hrs of this i was in and i found her scared and curled up in my clothes in the bathroom as she didnt know where else to hide. She got pampered for the rest of the day.

She grew weaker and weaker. and she was sick all the time. one particular day she was specifically sick. She would not eat wouldnt drink and kept meowing. For some reason I was upset that day and I was not particularly patient. She kept trying to get near my bed and i pushed her into her box at the head of my bed. I was upset she was not responding and dat she didnt see all the food and meds were for her good. I was helpless cos I couldnt force them down her throat. That was the last day I spent with Whisky. When I awoke I found her on her back, legs in the air liek she'd tried to escape and fallen with a blue nose. It was the most horrible day of my life. We burried her in the garden. It turns out this is a common reaction young ones have when the milk they drank changes and they kind of suffocate in the morning when it gets cooler. Im not sure why. My last moments with Whisky had been ones where I was angry, and had forced her to sleep alone against her wish. Its the one thing I would change in my life if I could. I regret not having been more patient with her that day. And I miss her terribly. I did love her a lot. May she rest in peace maybe it's better this way than having to eke out a life everyday struggling to do things which are normal for other kittens. Maybe we should have let her go the way her mom did when she abandoned her but that would have been cruel.... She will always remain my pet and my baby and Im super proud of whatever she did achieve cos I know what a struggle even that was for her. Here's to remembering Whisky forever .

3 short stories

Been super long since I put something down here, partly because ever since my breakup last year, i have found it easier to express my feelings through poems.. maybe there is some truth behind the college canteen owners advice to Ranbir kapoor in Rockstar. Thankfully, I no longer care about my ex, even though he is now not only in the same city as me but also the same organisation. Imagine the irony in that! Anyways moving to better topics, let me just keep this simple since I really don't have an agenda behind this post apart from making my presence felt :P So three short stories

a) I yelled at my the guy who provides me with my cooking gas cylinders today. They guy came to replace my cylinder without me inviting him. he insisted on replacing the thing after suggesting it would last only a day. Later when i was trying to cook, it simply would not light up. I immediately called up the gas wala to yell at him for giving me an empty cylinder.  after making sure i calmed down he asked me what was going on. I said its not lighting and i can smell gas too.. what kind of a cylinder have you given me, to which he replied, Madam aapka lighter kharaab hua hain(your lighter is not working) :)

b) I've subscribed to this poet called MerlinS, don't ask me why. Half of his poems are about heartbreak and justifying his role in every poem he jots down. I wonder if he has so many relationships maybe there is something wrong with him.

c) I was talking to meditative girl (iiftians will know who I mean) and went if i dont finish this today my RM will kick my ass n imitated being picked by the collar of my shirt and getting kicked to her and she looks  at me with big brown eyes and goes really???:P:D

There i have cmpltd 3 stories nw... see you later