Losing a Friend.

Past and gone
Yet always known
Always felt
Not necessarily missed
But at times, wished.
Wished things had been different
Maybe wished Id never changed my mind
That only friends we'd remained
But why over spilt milk
Should I cry

It's true-
we made better friends than anything more
What pushes us then to hope and pray
why must one's best friend be one's mate?
I miss the friend!
Suddenly tumble on memories old
Remember a kind word or comment left
A small compliment maybe to feel it was true.

And then I miss the friend
I see you struggle with it too
Fate so cruel to have us placed
Not in the same city alone, but in the same sphere
We come face to face
And avert our eyes
One in anger the other in shame
But both are left grasping for that time

That time when we spoke for hours on end
Took walks and wished never to part
All our friendship out of the window gone
no ways to undo the events of the past.
I wish we could speak again
You try to speak but it's not the same
I feel you're trying to make amends
Or out of forced will you take the time

Wish it were'nt so
Makes me wonder where the "true friend" went
Or did i misread the signs as always
was being just friends never your intent?
Did you string me along and- did I blindly believe
Why are'nt things more black and white?
Grey's confuse me- I then believe what I like
And before I realise, it's too late
I've also lost what I thought was mine.