top 5 things to do if you achieve "World Domination"!!!"

I started writing this blog sometime back :P Don't remember when and am too lazy to go back and checkbut Im guessing it was somewhere around 2008. And I had to explain the weird choice fot the name. One of the comments caught my eye. It was best of luck with your plans of world domination :D

Now, you may well wonder how I thought I was going to get there. And here's how I thought it would. i was kind of hoping that people would start reading the blog and my ideas would get embedded in their minds and then their actions and thus I could control them :P

Anyways, that did not happen, as you can clearly see. But I can still try to think of the top 5 things I would do if I had managed it, can't I? ;)

5) Put Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan in a box and throw them in the middle of the next hurricane threatening the DCs I look at providing DR support to as a sacrifice to appease the Gods! Hopefully, it won't have the opposite effect!

4) Catch hold of all the bureaucratic people like one of my teammates who creates more obstacles than he resolves and fling them to the sharks, god bless their souls(the sharks not the people's)

3) Ban Rap and hip hop. God awful sound for no reason.

2) Get all my favourite brands to pay me for for shopping with them :)

1) Make fat the new beautiful like in the renaissance period :'( Too much hard work trying to lose it I tell you :|

What's in a Name: Pat II

So admittedly, I have one of the most difficult names to pronounce. the k is more of an illusion at the statrt and the sh have to be attached to the k and stretched so that it almost sounds like x but in xylophone but isnt quite there because the sh is attached to it. And I have a lisp too, to make matters worse for me actually.

It was quite embarassing as a kid because I could not pronounce my own name till the 7th standard which is like I was 13. Led to a lot of loss of self esteem and 7th std was easily my worst year ever. But then I practised it and am now quite capable to say it out loud as long as I'm consciously thinking of what Im saying. The moment I am in a hurry or not focussing, it's all over the place again :P

Anyways, the only positive I see out of all this is that when foreigners mispronounce my name, im ablt to understand why and take it with a pinch of salt. So recently I had a call with some guys from Puerto Rico and since their native tongue is Spanish rather than English.( funnily foreigners who know english are better at saying my name, don't know why) . And this guy is being really nice to me and trying to ensure he gets my name right. So he started off with Xeeteeja, which is good for a first time person saying my name who is not in Indian culture, 10 mins down the line he went Xeeja, then Xena and finally by the end of the call I was named Katrina!!! :D

Anyways, it's all fun. I have several names due to the difficulty people have saying my original name. Kates, Nicky, Dexter, hello(strangely enough because I have a habit of greeting everyone with a friendly hello no matter how small an interval ago I just saw the person :P) a. So I say to myself, what's in a name??    :) 

Not the Dentist again.

Well I went to the dentist today. And I did not like it one bit.. there's something very nasty about being in their chair. i love the fact that it is so huge though. And then the headlights come on scarily and there's a masked man holding you hostage at the tip of a mirror and a  drill :P you better not move unless you want one of your nerve ends to be very painfully brought alive.

And imagine my predicament, not only was there the dentist in that room but also an assistant who apparently was so tired at 11 in the morning that while keeping the suction tube in my mouth he felt the need to rest his head against the lamp which obligingly moved an inch or two to make things more comfortable for him but horrifying for me. And oh there was also the intern, who the dentist very merrily asked to sum up the cavities in my mouth after doing the initial check and had her recite them to him like some nursery rhyme after. 

And then he merrily drilled and suctioned and filled and polished for the next hour much to my agony and chagrin (yes! I finally found a place to use that word) and then he charged much to my dismay :( I should have become a dentist! And it made me think of one of my all time favourite poems which poem sums it up wonderfully. It's one of my favourites by Ogden Nash. If i could meet someone who writes poems like this guy, I'd marry him :P Ive copy pasted it here for your benefit. I hope you have the patience to read through it it always cracks me up. In fact after pasting it down here I sat grinning like an idiot reading through it so please enjoy and reminisce about your own pain because we have all been to the dentist :)

This Is Going To Hurt Just A Little Bit

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,

But the one that is both is dental.

It is hard to be self-possessed

With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm

When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity

When you know your position is one of the two or three in life most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.

And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and drills and steam rollers and there isn’t a nerve in your head thatyou aren’t being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.

And others have things done to their gums,

And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,

But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.

And the circumstance that adds most to your terror

Is that it’s all done with a mirror,

Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,

But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one hand and mirror in the other he won’t get mixed up, the way you do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn’t because he then coats your mouth from cellar to roof

With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a horse’s hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it’s all over now and afterall it was only this once.

And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,

That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good condition

when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition

is so that he won’t have to go to the dentist.

Homeward bound

I am going to attempt to rewrite the opening lines of Pride and Prejudice.

Original lines

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters."

Now my version in my context:


"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single girl in possession of a certain age must be in want of a husband.However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her taking leave to innocently go visit her family, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the all the people in her workplace, that she is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of her native place's young eligible bachelors."

So as you must have guessed from the title, I am leaving for home within the next 5 hrs actually. And this is the supposition in everyone's mind. Some are brave enough to speak it out, some try to hide it but it shows anyways, some managed to hide it and some people are sensible :P

So I was supposed to go on an all girl's trip to Daman, a place close to Mumbai and for which I would have had to fly via Mumbai. Three of the 6 girls in my IIFT group are getting married and we wanted to go out one last tym as an all girls group with no guys attached and have a nice time. Unfortunately th every next day after I managed to get the leave required and book my tickets, one of the brides-to-be( no need to hold your breath, I'm not one of them) met with an accident, tore her ligament and was rendered not entirely useless but unable to move for 3 weeks. So since my mom misses me and keeps asking me to come home and meet her i decided let me go spend time with her instead.

 However, this innocent little thing has turned into such a headache for me because my single status is universally known too. And so the assumptions are Im going home to see guys( I hate arranged marriages people, give me a break.. its the yuckiest thing you could ask me to do). And this is just unfair. A girl can want to just spend some time after completing her education, with herself. Why must she immediately tie herself to domestic monotony with some guy she has never known? I have interests and hopes and dreams( I sound like an educate the girl child commercial now :P) of my own. And im not saying no to marriage but im just thinking let it happen when it has to.. Why are you, the society pushing me into it when my parents are willing to listen to me and not pressurising me into one?

Anyways, to whosoever it interests (though i dont for the life of me see why?) Im not getting married, Im not looking for guys, Im happy as I am and when I want to get married or look for boys, I will make it just as obvious as I have made the fact that I don't want to think about them now, so lets give it a break till then. :)

How to catch a mouse in 40 minutes!

So we have a mice infestation apparently. :( Ok its not really an infestation but occasionally we do get the odd mouse and I hate them.. silly disgusting vermin! Anyways so a couple of nights ago Kiran, my roomie came running into my room at 2 saying a mouse has been caught in the trap in the storeroom. Naturally at 2:00 in the night, I'd rather do other things than chuck mice out the house, so I said I would look into it tomorrow as she had thrown the previous mouse caught in the trap . So it was my turn this time.

Oh, let me describe the mouse trap to you. It's not the boring old one, its a modern mouse trap called 'trouble gum'. So basically it's a piece of cardboard, and a lot of glue on it. The glue is damn powerful;. One of my previour roomies had stepped onto it once and it stuck to her slipper so bad that the only way we could get her loose was by cutting through the glue. So when a mouse runs on it, it gets stuck and struggles and struggles and struggles but can't get off.

Now back to the story. I wake up the next day really late cos I was not well. Kiran was all ready to walk out to work by then so I see her off. Then I decide to go check on the dead mouse. To my surprise, it's not there any more. The glue however is messed up  to make me suspect fishy activity. I start with the theory that a stray cat had come in again and managed to pull the mouse off the thing and eat it. But as I'm about to leave the store-room I hear a shuffling noise. I look around and I see a "Chichundar" (bigger rodent with a triangular face, not known to bite people but makes a loud squeaking noise to express it's presence). It's happily stuck to a bag lying around. This thing had gone and eaten my mouse and in the process got enough glue on its hind legs and back side to get stuck, to the cloth bag. Thankfully it was an empty cloth bag. However the things front half was merrily  free and he was struggling to get away from the bag. Oh and to make matters worse, he had actually managed to also get the strap of a duffel bag lying nearby stuck between his belly and the cloth bag.

This was a bigger dilemma than just getting rid of a mouse caught in the trap. I had no idea how I could get rid of this monstrosity? I couldn't lift it because unline a mouse caught on the trap which I could lift like a hard cover book thanks to the stiffness of the cardboard,I could not lift this  and chuck it into a garbage bag. What do i do now? I decided maybe I should throw the mouse trap on top of it so it would stick to it and I could flip it on the back and chuck it out. However me being scared i threw the trap on it also in such a way that only the rear half was covered so now this thing turns its upper body and viciously started biting the cardboard. This freaked me out even more.Not knowing  what to do  I called my dad up who stays thousands of kms away from me and begged him to give me the strength to kick this thing out. He told me take a stick and give it a nice whack on its head and kill it. I told him to give me a better idea and hung up. I contemplated spraying it with the cockroach spray. However that idea was given up because it would have taken me forever to spray it with insecticide before it died. Finally dad told me throw a rag on it, use rubber gloves to pick it up and chuck it. This made sense

But it was definitely not that easy. I had to ensure the cloth would cover it properly unlike my last attempt at covering the thing with a mouse trap/ I tore an old pair of jeans which was to be chucked out and went and threw it on the rat. As soon as it landed on him it started shrieking which made me even more terrified.

Great, so now I have a covered menace to get rid of. I definitely wasn't going to lift it with my hand,. So I went looking for the trusty broom and sweeping pan. Having brought these in I made my first attempt to sweeping the whole pile onto it. Obviously the thing started shrieking again. Which made me throw the whole thing down and start jumping and shrieking on my own.Somehow this made the rodent go quiet. I made another attempt to sweep it onto the pan. This time I got it all there. I again laid the pan down and did my ritual of jumping and shrieking which looking back sounds really stupid.  Finally I forced myself to be brave and throw it in the huge dustbin bags we had in the house, tie it up without looking at what I had just chucked in. Once done i chucked it out with the garbage. And that is how I caught a mouse/humongous rodent in 40 minutes. To reward myself I called my brother up who had just woken up and described the whole incident to him in all the gory details. He hates me now and is scarred for life, but what are siblings for if not to help you cope with your difficulties so I don't mind. 

Stalker Alert!!!

Well if theres one thing my life is, its eventful. I honestly need to write a book soon. Here's the latest scoop. I have a stalker. I am not joking about this. This dude who is some 6ft odd and broad shouldered typical beefed up north indian guy, who if you didnt know better you'd mistake for Khalli's bodyguard, is always around when I dont need him. Ok he's not that bad looking but his activities are such that they negate all his good looks. He's always present wherever I am . Its hard to shake him of. If RAW needs someone he's your man.

Here's the fun part, I have never spoken to him, been introduced to him or even been part of the same team as him. SO I guess he just spotted me one day at work and since then whenever I enter office, go for lunch or leave, he's there. And he's beginning to scare me because I thought ignoring him will do the trick. He'd go away and leave me alone. But it does'nt. It's reached a stage where the moment I'm on my office lane I start praying to God that I don't see him today. Unfortunately, I always do.

So I informed all my friends and colleagues here and was advised I can get a mental harassment case launched against him. And I decided my plan of action started looking at the policies etc. But as I said my life is anything but uneventful. The day I was completely set on taking up the issue on a serious note, we had a open house and the SBU head knows the guy because apparently he's writing a book and is some kind of really smart thing. There went my plans for action. Now I cant do anything till I have concrete proof about it. The guy comes and takes a round of my seating area for no apparent reason, just walks past my cubicle in the basement and then goes straight out the door and up the stairs to his place on the ground floor or wherever and I cant do a thing. Well hope he's the intellectual types and won't harm me but just in case something goes wrong I want to leave a record with as many people as I possibly can. So people, don't let him get away with it. I dont even know the guy's full name.

Meme time... dedicated to Shveta Nagpal

Hey... so here's the meme..... Shveta N has introduced me to this like a few days back and im finally gonna get down and put it up... though i dont know if it will be quite as interesting as hers is.... but im gonna try anyways here goes... :)

1. Tell us who the last person that you took a shower with.

no one actually....

2. Tell us about your favorite tee-shirt. Extra points if you show a pic. (We know. What can you do with freakin' extra points?)

My favorite t... tht will have to be a black turtle neck from M&S.... it compliments curves well and i received my first compliment from a special person when i wore it....

3. Has anyone ever hit on you even though they knew you were taken?

ya...interestingly one of my younger brother's friends...and it was damn sweet and innocent(compared to other hitting on lines(?)) so i didnt mind it :P

4. Do you plan what to wear the next day?

depends on the next day

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? Why?

haha.. seriously????ths qn is just a lil freaky but im feeling good i guess cos i dont have any reason to feel otherwise

6. What's the closest thing to you that's black?

my bean bag nd am sitting on it

7. Tell me about an interesting dream you remember having.

lol.... i dreamt abt trying to beat someone up by throwing live chickens at them...dont ask me how it works cos it doesnt... the chickens used to fly away before collision.. it could have had something to do with the angry birds app...not sure but it was damn funny cos i remmeber i woke up laughing :P:D ya i do weird stuff like dat

8. Did you or might you meet anybody new today?

no.... i spent today sleeping... but i have been given a suggestion that i shud add a guy so i can comment on one of my froends pics....not decided on whether i shud take the suggestion up

9. If you could be doing anything right now (or perhaps after you finish this ridiculous meme) what would it be?

talking to my boyfriend who unfortunately is too busy roaming around to give me too much time of the day these days.

10. Do you floss?

hmmm.... sometimes :(

11. What comes to mind when I say China?

soups and little chinese people

12. Are you overly emotional?

i dont knw

13. If you could listen to just one rock album (CD, vinyl or mp3) which one would you pick?

Jon Bon Jovi...

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

Lick

15. Do you like your car?

I LOVE my Dad's car!! )(haha i am sticking with shveta's answer here)

16. Do you like yourself?

i love myself....

17. Would you go out to eat with Charlie Sheen?

Nope.... but i would not mind James Franco or Ian Somerhalder or Wentworth Miller or Milo Ventimiglia or Andy Roddick... and i think i shud stop here :P

18. What was the last song that you listened to?

three words... its nice... im trying to learn it

19. Are (or were) your parents strict?

no

20. Have you ever wondered what attending a wild orgy (if only to watch or...) would be like?

no way....

21. I say cottage cheese. You say:

Im on a diet?

22. Have you ever met a celebrity?

cant remember... thr r too many of them roaming around :P

23. What was the last movie that you watched at home?

Bucket list

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?

yes...

25. What countries have you visited?

none actually

26. Have you ever made a phone call while you were drunk that you've regretted? If yes, do tell.

Hmm not been drunk... man this meme is gonna sound so boring

27. Where were you going the last time that you were on a train?

Kolkata from delhi... spent most of it in the bathroom... stupid ttrin food... never again will i do dat

28. Bacon or sausage?

sausage

29. How long have you had a cell-phone?

2004 i think not too long

30. What other memes do you do regularly?

none

31. Who is the craziest meme host?

Shveta Nagpal....

32. Who invented chop sticks?

silly chinese ppl

33. Who are you going to be with tonight?

lol!!!! Shveta this is going to be the most boring post on my blog ever....

34. Are you too forgiving?

hell ya!!!!

35. When was the last time that you were in love?

still am

36. Tell us about your best friend.

well my best friend found a way to find me ( on orkut)after 10 years of being out of touch ... and even though we are still far away in terms of continents literally i lov ethe fact that we are so in symc with each other that when we speak it feels like im hearing my thoughts being spoken out to me in someone else's voice :)

37. What was the stupidest thing you learned in high school?

hehe..... hmm dont remember much that i learnt in high school actually :P

38. What was the last thing that you cried about?

The fact that I am going to leave mumbai soon :( i cant imagine the fact that im to work in another city and dont know when i will be able to tell ppl i live in mumbai again or if i am ever gonna come back for more than vacations... i love this city... its my home :(

39. What was the last question you asked?

can u come to noida and stay with me... to my mom

40. Favorite thing to do this time of the year?

laze around at home and enjoy the summer

41. If you had to get a (or another) tattoo, what would it be?

dont think i will actually...

42. How would your best friend describe you?

hmm.... need to ask her... will edit this once she replies

43. Have you ever seen all three Twilight films?

YES!!!! I love them..... well actually i just love the book and robert pattinson... the movies were boring and didnt cover most of the book and kristen stewart sucks big time... who told her she can act???

44. Ever walked into a glass door?

yes i think i have...

Favorite color on that person that you are attracted to?

Green... he looks hot in it

46. Have you ever slapped someone?

i tried... but my hand slowed down before it reached the face... damn it.... stupid conscience

47. What hair style (for you) would you like to see return?

Im trying to grow my hair... then ill think abt it... but for now i want them long...

48. What was the last CD you bought?

Il Divo.... where did they go does anyone know???????

49. Do looks matter to you?

the personality does...

50. Could you ever forgive a liar?

no

51. What's the hardest bill to pay every month?

cellphone and internet?

52. Do you like your life right now?

yup... always do

53. Do you sleep with the TV on?

No its in the living room

54. Can you handle the truth?

Yes.

55. Do you have good vision?

yup... 20/20 :P:D i dont know i hope so.....

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people?

not really... im indifferent to people i dont like

57. How often do you talk on the phone?

all the time i think more or less

58. What celeb would you like to come home to?

hmm .... well in the current defn of celebs they r a lil too dumb for me to want to come home to them...

59. What are you wearing?

god this meme is feelign more and more like a sleazy chat with a stranger with every question :P:D

60. What is your favorite wild animal?

leopards :P

61. Where was your facebook picture taken?

Kolkata... my hostel

62. Can you waltz?

hehe... dont think will ever dance in my life

63. Do you have a job?

gonna start soon

64. What was the most recent thing you stole?

y in heavens name would i confess tht here?????

65. Have you ever crawled through a window?

hmm no i have not but my mother has... :P:D

ok... im done with it... shveta let me know wat you think of this and im gonna ask swati to do this too... swati please just copy paste the questions and answer them on your blog.... waise i know your busy and stuff but try when u can.... :)

Earth Quake!!!

There was an earthquake yest in Pakistan. At 2 in the night to be precise. I was happily washing my clothes. Dont ask me why i was washing clothes at 2 in the night in cold delhi. I am an MBA student... certain insanity goes with the territory (Plus I was determined to have those clothes clean!! :P) Lets focus on the big picture here!!!!

So there was an earthquake in Pakistan. Try picturing my room here first. There's one room... and an attached bath area.. which has two bathrooms, two wash basins and a toilet.. and it leads to anothe room..Back to the story. I am washing my clothes at 2 in the night, and the door to the other room is closed cos Shveta was sleeping and i start hearing noises of the bed moving... Me being not-inquisitive abt such sounds i decided to keep my nose out of it.. till i felt the earth spinning and Ritika yelling from my room frantically... and she goes earthquake! earthquale. And I walk out and go seriously? and she's like ya! so im like y r u sitting on your bed then... you should run downstairs!!(see how i always come up with the right thing to do... :D) So Ritika's like ya.. I should.... And walks towards the door.. and i realise shveta was not responsible for the bed moving and i better wake her up and take her down too; yell frantically for her to wake up... Its another story that she on walking out the room realises that she left her phone in the room and goes to pick it up.. By the time we made it out the earthquale was gone....

and then we came up and called our respective families, friends and loved ones and after ensuring they were safe went back to sleep....

{The earthquake happened in Pakistan and was of 7.5 scale magnitude.. I pray for all the innocent people trapped in it. and for the ones who have left this world.... May they find peace wherever they are}

Of moons and stars!!! :P

So apparently one day the Minnesota planetarium decided it was time to make an impact. And boy did they do it in style. They said the gravitational pull of the moon had changed , thus changing the position of the celestial bodies. Not only did this mean a change in their positions but also a new zodiac emerged out of this, ochiphichus. And by this one statement/finding they have thrown everyone’s SUN signs into disarray. Suddenly a Libran realises she is a virgo, a Capricorn , a saggi; and what would have been considered a good combination is now a mismatch!!! And imagine the countless weddings which are scheduled to take place based on the word of an astrologer, they will all need to get new consultations lest they be the end of each other.. not to mention the ones who are already married, will they now no longer be compatible?? Looks like the divorce rates in India may just hit the roof... :P

But the more important thing here for me is the identity crisis, I as a Libran am supposed to be diplomatic, clever, indecisive and Beautiful!!! I don’t know what I will do now that I am a virgo!!!Its like being told that while you were sleeping the tectonic plates shifted and so now you are a Pakistani and not an India... WTH!!!

Well the bright side is that I was born before the moon decided that it did not love the earth quite as well as it used to before 2009 and changed its gravitational pull, my sun sign will not change and so will everyone else’s who was born before 2009. But it sure adds to the confusion (as if there wasn’t enough confusion around astrology as it is) So now if I were to have a daughter on the 16^th of October( my birthday) she would not be a beautiful Libran but a whatever they are Virgo???? That is seriously depressing...But kudos to the moon for pulling off a fast one on the SUN signs :P:D

Music makes me lose control... :P

Got a new Ipod... Its a gift from my brother... so Yay!!!! he did something nice for a change... :P Just got to figure out how to use it now... However installing the itunes software/ etc on my lappy made me actually look at the songs i have on my laptop too.. and i didnt realise how long it has been since i heard these... to many at this point of time they may sound like the golden oldies... am listening to Backstreet's Back now and thinking back to 7th std which is when I went crazy about these guys, remembering how we used to find the line " Am I sexual" scandalous even though it doesnt mean anything if you think of it rationally( the person who wrote their songs was granatically challenged I guess.. they should just hire me instead in the future.. :P:D) Anyways its fun to listen to these and I cant wait to put them on the Ipod.

Now here's the thing, I dont understand what gives VH1 the idea that we like rap and Hip-Hop... I think those two are the worst possible thing that could happen to Music... or even a way to console those people who just cant sing and think that them talking fast and in an incomprehensible way is them singing ..... Whats wrong with people that is not music.... please for heaven's sake start singing... let us hear some instruments playing somewhere in the background and some rhythm in your voice.. some softness and emotion apart from that of wanting to shoot everyone else down....

Anyways I am thankful to the Michael Buble's and James Blunt's of the world.... Thank god for you.... I hope people regain their senses and start listening to SONGS again rather than long lists of expletives being strewn around by people who frankly seem more suited for professions such as mugging people in the middle of the night on deserted roads..... And i am grateful that my favourites like Backstreet Boys and westlife still sing.... Some sanity prevails in this mad chaos....

Controversies, the spice of life????? / SCHADENFREUDE

My last post invited a lot of brickbats from my Bengali friends which they were kind enough to give me in person rather than post it here. I'd just like to say, that it was meant in sport, I love Kolkata for all practical purposes. It has been home to me for the last 1 and a half years and a certain fondness is sure to follow such a long association. However I do apologise if it hurt anybody's sentiments. Ans since that was posted publicly, an apology needs to be made publicly. Please try to understand that I joke( sometimes a bit too much) but thats who i am and i only joke about things that are close to my heart or mater to me the most, else I am indifferent to the world.

Now having said all that, I love controversies, don't you? Its so much fun. Who does not love to turn to the last and second last page of the supplement and see what the local celebrities have been upto? I guess a certain feeling called schadenfreude(german) is responsible for this. What this loosely means is deriving pleasure from someone else's misfortune. So you turn to these pages in search of entertainment, take pleasure from the fact that somebody else is having a tough time too.Some common thoughts on reading these pages "Ohh Britney Spears had another break up, How can she possible live like this, she deserves it".

Take a minute to pause, admitted she has made a lot of money by just singing and looking pretty or whatever, but she has made it herself and she has put in a lot of efforts getting to where she is. Is this your jealousy acting up? Are you so frustrated in life that you want to be the gossipmonger waiting to see someone fall so you can talk about it. Why dont you just do something with your life instead?

Schadenfreude may offer you a release from your daily worries, a temporary feeling of ohh she's having a much worse time than I am and I'm so glad for it. But that's the thing about it, its TEMPORARY. And its not very nice. Laughing at others misfortunes just shows how depressed you are with your life. That time could instead have been better utilised thinking about what to do with your day and how you can obtain something positive.

And for those who are at the centre of controversies, all I can say is good for you. You were important enough for people around you to sit up, take notice of your action and pass judgement. You must be doing something right to get so much attention and talktime. At least there is something people will remember you for and your life on this planet will not be a complete waste. So as long as your living your life on your terms and doing what you think is right, not hurting anyone and something positive is coming out of your action, dont worry. Carry on. You are probably on the right track. Better to be the one being talked about than the one doing the talking i guess. Probably the reason I dont pay attention to all the idle gossip about my life(hehe see how nicely I have managed to work myself into the post and inform you whether im the one doing the talking or the one talked about; I do not believe in leaving confusion in your minds ever :P) And yes, controversies are the spice of life for you too, because it means your doing something so off-track and different that its getting other's attention. Also you are thinking rather than taking the path commonly treaded(trode??? whats the word. Ed board, please help!!!) So thats about all i have to say on this. Until I find something else to talk about. Have Fun.... :)

The Pest my Parents want to protect :P:D:P

So apparently my little brother(23 years), Kaustubh, got breathless one day. His girlfriend, Isha, was around at the time and came running frantically to my parents. Obviously my parents got all nervous too and took him to the hospital. Turns out Lil Kaustubh has problems with the fumes from the pest control... So me in my deductive thinking vein got thinking and came up with this... If the objective of doing a pest control activity is to get rid of the pests, and Kaustubh has problems with it too... then he should be a pest right... :P:D

Do animals adopt the behaviour of the people surrounding them....

Eureka!!! I have found the answer in Kolkata. The answer is they do btw. Here is a comparative study between animals from the same species in Mumbai and Kolkata

Cats: In Kolkata- I am a cat person... I had a pet cat so i pretty much understand what noises they make for what occassion. So here's the situation.. I am quietly studying for my exams tomorrow and I hear the sound of two tomcats readying for a fight. I tell Ashmita, those two cats are going to fight. For the next 15 mins I hear those cats making warning noises at each other. I finally reach the limits of my patience(anticipation???) and decide to investigate. What do you think i found??? In traditional Bengali syle, these two tomcats are standing at a foot distance from each other and growling away to glory. They are not even attacking each other... Not that i wante them to attack each other(Not a sadist) but I think after all that build up they should have at least left some scratch marks on each other.

The mumbai cats: I remember my cat,(stupid creature) always getting into fights. And he got into fights at exactly 6 in the morning, when i woke up because he knew i'd come get him out of it( For the unbelieving , I have actuallt hit another tomcat with a stick to get him to leave my cat alone...I think i was taking the girls getting into cat fights thing a little too seriously at that stage of life.. :P however coming back to the comparision without further digression, in Mumbai when these creatures decide to fight, they actually do that rather than have debates with each other like Bengali cats.

Similarly the dogs in Kolkata do not get off the road even if you honk at them. They continue sleeping and you have to drive around them. Because they are entitled to the roads you see. Thats the great thing about Kolkata, everyone knows their rights and stands up for them.... The dogs in Mumbai can usually be seen on the road only while crossing it. Which they cross after checking both sides I am sure.

And don't even get me started on the cattle in Kolkata. Crazy things come straight at you. I have not really observed the cattle in Mumbai because i guess they are too meek and like the dogs and cats of mumbai go about their business of grazing and producing milk in a quiet business like fashion.

Anyways, I am pretty sure by now you must have guessed my exams are around the corner, because thats when im at my nuttiest best. So im going to end this post as abruptly as I started it. And oh the cat's fight was finally split up by a stray dog who started barking at them. :P I love Kolkata....

Forced to turn into an Insomniac

Is'nt it funny! Just a year back I had sworn I could never be the type who would stay up late hours and sleep 4 hrs a day like all the other MBA grads. But now I find I never really had the choice. What makes me wonder is do I really want to willingly step into a world where I know that most of my time will be given to work, that i may not have the time to enjoy simple things like go for a swim or listen to music? How can I possibly be doing this voluntarily.

Or am I just not able to optimise my time even now. I know of classmates who sleep 7 hrs a day and still manage to do a darn good job of whatever they are doing.

Or am I as usual biting off more than i can chew. I hope this habit of mine does'n t take me down one day.

Well whatever it is, it needs to be sorted out fast. I think next month will be easier as we will have most of the painful things out of the way. Let's see.

Why I deserve to be in the Rugby Team for India.

time 7:30 pm

Venue : kurla station

destination: Vikhroli station(with some luck)

Mode: A fully crowded train with a lot of angry, snobbish (since i travel first class) and quite a few menopausal(ooh.... these are the worst when they get angry) women

So after a days work I believe in some play. After all, all work and no play is said to make Jack a dumb boy according to an age old adage and in this age of equality of the sexes and feminism what's good for Jack is good for Mary too... :P So i have trudged up the stairs from the harbour line platform, and come to the central line after many angry, sharp elbows in the back to the weird, frisky and overly excited males at the station which they well deserved btw.... but that was just a warm up for what is to come. The train draws to a halt . All of us rush forward. SCRUM!!! For the uninitiated it is the thing where you see all those big fat sweaty men on the two rugby teams lock heads(for lack of horns) and then spin around trying to push each other. this is usually done in a match when you need to restart play after a minor penalty or infraction has occurred . Well in my case the infraction is that the train stopped at the station. The two teams formed spontaneously are the ones getting in and the ones getting out. After 20 seconds of wildly pushing and pulling and letting words a lady would never use in public fly around without a care of whom they hit ( yes ppl the F*** and B**** words are common here some may even call it sledging) we are finally in motion gain. mainly because the train is taken off. The ones who were left behind on either the platform amongst those who wanted to board the train and those who wished to alight ; well its survival of the fittest. And then you have the entire phase where you align yourself according to the optimum position to get out of the train at your stop. A lot of pushing and pullinh, twisting and turning, watvching new scrums form and dissolve later its time for you to get back in the field again. you adjust the team. get the ones who are noyt willing to cooperate and move in the direction you want to move in to back down by gving them so much attitude, they'd think you were a diva amongst the divas... Once more I am in a scrum, and I hold position no matter who may try to fall on top of me.. And I Push when the train hits the station. And I am out again. Glad to say I have never been on the losing side till now.. so give me a chance at women's ruby... and that will be one tournament that Mumbai railways' commuters will never lose....

Summer Internship ke kisse

So i'm at this consultancy where we are trying to figure out how best to help a container company which currently has an ICD and CFS to come up with a multimodal logistics Park and my Delhi Counterpart is on a project which involves her calling exporters and asking them how they export or import coal. today morning for some reason the alarm on my cell did not go off( I think it wasnt charged or something) But at 6:00 sharp i had this dream where I saw me sleeping and suddenly my mentor walks in and screams ICD at me... that definitely woke me up on time... But thats not where this story ends...When I narrated this to my friend, she tells me she had a dream that she had called her mentor on the phone and that woke her up... man we may not know how to tackle our projects seriously but we sure are damn serious about them...

how to order a pasta....

So here goes... I decided to order dinner... however all the indian fod joints in hiranandani are pretty mundane and i was really bored of the indian cuisine taste... so i decided to look for a pasta.... something out of the ordinary....there's a new pizza joint here which i really like... they r v good and their breadsticks are to die for... a true gourmand's delight..... so i call up the number

a young voice in a sing song tome picks up and goes welcome to pa... may i offer u te --- pizza....
im like what!!!! no i want to order a pasta...
so this chappie say hello maam.... may i have your number please....
me yes it 292 ....... (like im going to give away my phone number on the net...basically i gave him my phone number...
and he's like can i have ur name ... i give him my name and then shocker of shcoker..... can i call you back!!!!!!!!!!!!which pizza place calls the customer back for their order.... i mean wat was that????? so im like sure... (i was too confused to respond in any othert way...)

i wait for 3 mins... no my phones not ringing yet.... so me being the extremely nice natured person that i am call them back...(or maybe i just dfont know when to give up...)

me... hi i would like to order your pasta.
waiter( wat do u call the guys who take your order over the phone?) yes maam,,...
me: would you like to take down my phone number now?
waiter..: yes maam.. just a second... abbe pen de na...
me ( grinning... im loving this experience...) ok... so my number is (my phn number)
waiter and your name maam???
me:
kshitija....
waiter: yes kshitija maam ( im like wow... this is cool... i thought only school teacjers were addressed in this manner...)


then believe it or not a second dude picks up the phone...( they were all just dying to speak to me on the phone u see...)

second waiter... thanks for holding kshitija maam....
me: thts ok... can i order a pasta?
2nd w: yes maam which one would you like?
me: id like a pasta primevera florentine....
2nd w: oh and what size would you like it in...
me: pasta comes in sizes?(i never knew... i thought only pizzas came in sizes hehe)
2nd w: sorry maam u want a pasta ...
me : yes... pasta primevera florentine...
2nd w: veg or non veg???
me : does it come in non veg to???? (man these guys are exciting.... the menu said it was veg...)
im on hold....
3rd w: thanks for holding kshitija maam...
so u would like a pasta primevera florentine...

me: yes please...
3rd w: wats your address?
me: my address is... (well if i didnt disclose my phn number obviously i wont give u guys my address either :) )
3rd w: ok maam
me: why do u guys call back the customer for the order...
3rd w: its v busy today maam...(sunday)
me : oh ok...(???????????? these people need to train their staff on how to speak to customers.... if it hadnt been my good sense of humour they would have lost out on my hard earned 250 rs...)

they calls done... im praying to god that the pasta does get delivered to me or ill have to go hungry... and te phone bell rings... i instinctively know its my fav pizza joint... i pick up

4th w: kshitija maam?
me: yes?
4th w: maam wat pasta would you like ---- penne or spaghetti?
me: id like penne..
4th w: sorry maam we dont have that today...
me( haha... y r they bothering to ask then???) im like give me spaghetti then....


anyways the pastas eaten and is happily being worked upon by my gastric juices.... but wasnt that the most hilarious experience of ordering a take away that you might have hear??????????????

IT CONVERSATION (conv with friend early in morning)

Friend: heyy

Me: hello.... shee... horrible day... the moment i land here b4 i even switched on the pc i was told u have a lot of work today... login and see... as if im interested in seeing a lot of work... damn it.. wats wrong with these ppl? they jst dnt undrstnd me... i like to come and be told thoda sa kaam hain.. then u can relax...

F: hahaha...what work btw...i too have some work to finish....very short of time....came just now

Me : oh just some stupid loopholes encountered in ePMS. oh btw rms is going live for the third time since august this thurs... hehe...

F : funny...so u must hav been already prepared for everything then

Me : im not going to bother... let them do wat they want to... im tired... i want a holiday....anywasy if ur busy with work i will not keep u frm it...

F : k...will ping u later

Me : enjoy

F : yea rite

Me : this conv is gng on my blog

F : kuch bhi?...ur blogs gonna be very boring then

Me : hmm... no..its gng on the blog... who cares... waise bhi im the only one who reads that blog so who cares.... im not bored of it yet... iver not even had the time to go to the washroom since i landed here... pathetic... im taking the 12:15 shuttle back home...

F : lolz....reminds me of my pre-school days :P
Me : nohting..busy now

F : ttulk...

No eyes

So I woke up today and stumbled into my washroom... I am all groggy... ek toh its 5:15 in the morning... i am so sleepy... i want to roll over and go back to sleep but ive got a good stern warning from my mom that i have to wake up.... so i happily (yeah right) wake up and my hair(its not even shoulder length btw) kind of all over as an entangled ruffled up mess.... and i push the bedsheet off me... god knows what i do in the night but every morning when i wake up the thing is wrapped around me a good 2-3 times.... then i sit still in my bed with my feet in the slippers.... and then i stumble into my washroom.... I like to look at myself in the mirror when i wake up( i like to look at myself in the mirror anytime actually but i think i look my best in the morning when i have just woken up) So i happily check my face and imagine the scare i get... there's a blank white face staring back at me... i have never seen more flesh around someone's eyes in my life... the eyes are pure slits... i check to see if i am actually awake .... i am... i cant believe it... i look again... i get up from the toilet seat and go stare at the mirror... still no eyes,.... slowly it sinks into me that my eyes have swollen up... so basically this whole description was to describe the horror of having to face the sight of swollen eyes first thing in the morning when im not even completely conscious... hehe...

do i really need to give it a title?

Hello!!! Been a while since I came here... i have been having a great tym and i think its only fair that the people who habe not been leadint as exciting a life as i have been get to hear about it too... hehe... ok fine... no comments saying yeah right...

ok so where do i begin... yes...
1) this saturday i went to get my eyebrows threaded...the owner of my saloon has a twisted sense of humour.... let me set up the scene for you...its a rainy day...i enter the place.... aptly titled celebrity... after all i visit it...(also cant afford brown N Brown.. went there once and they charge like 110 bucks for threading the eyebrows only) so i enter celebrity on a rainy day and there are already three girls in there getting their eyebrows threaded...now threading is a horrible thing to endure on a normal day...on a rainy day its even worse because not only are they mercilessly plucking the hair out of your skin but your also wet and have walked through at least one mud puddle...so i get in ... and i sit at the seat...and the painful process starts and then i realise theres music in the background... so i say lets listen to that it will divert the attention.... and the song is just right for the moment... the lyrics go DARD HOTA HAIN AANKH ROTI HAIN.... that was enough for me... i said lets pay attention to the threading only instead....


2) on sunday i went for a lunch with my frnds.... sizzlers... i wish it had rained tht day... it wud have been more fun... i am so glad yokos is just 5 mins walking from my place... when the monsoons really start in a big way i am gonna go sit there facing the window and enjoy a sizzler happily... some sunday evening most probably so i can take both my parents along... it will be fun...

3) What I am really looking forward to now is Hancock and Jaane tu ya jaane na.... but hancock more... it has will smith... I love will smith... he always makes me smile...and thrs nvr been one moment when i havent seen him smiling... i love his smile and jolly nature... i think he's just swell and i want to give him a hug and say ur my teddy bear... really.... hes too good... one of the only genuinely happy persons i have seen amongst actors..... of course i am judging from interviews etc so i myt be wrong...but he looks genuinely happy and jolly....i hope i am not wrong... looking at him gives me hope that ppl can be tht way sometime too....

jaane tu ya jaane na bcos the story seems imteresting...and aamir khans nephew is even better looking than aamir khan.... lets see...

4) and what i am not looking forward to at all and what caused me to write this post is the L1 exam i have to give this friday... this is the height of procastination... I d much rather do anything other than study for that.... but i guess i have to go back to that now that this post is done.... do feel free to leave comments....