The Shame

She loves her country


And is proud of the strides it makes

But scratch the surface a bit

And she finds nothing but a land lying waste



“No child labour allowed “

A proud sign outside an office declares

Yet in she walks and she’s faced

With the sight of a kid happily brushing away at a ledge



She wonders for what the deception?

Why the big façade?

Why bother to say something

When if that suit you best that’s what you are?



Someone who should be in school

Is so happy to just have a job

Not able to see through the exploitation

Cheerfully lives the dream he bought



And she looks on this from the outside

And realizes this is a one-off case not

And she bleeds cos she seem to have not

The courage and strength to fight this off.

:)

Putting out a smile to all my readers just cos I felt like it. :) 

Reality

So Reality shows seem like they are here to stay. And sometimes there are some really good ones too like The Apprentice or Voice or So you think you can dance. But then most times it seems these shows are just there to entertain you by showing off absolute weirdos. Sometimes they are downright insulting to these people. And I get why they are interesting for others to watch. The schadenfruede just get such a nice outlet with these shows. But I wonder is it really fair to mock these people? They are out there doing what they think will give them a good chance at life. Who doesnt want to be rich and famous. It's just that they are looking for shortcuts and are usually woefully mistaken about the level of their talent or wrong in their beliefs. But they are trying to do what they can to get what they want within these limitations. And I don't think it's fair to mock them or feel amused at their failures. Though  some of them really are just asking for it :P There's no right or wrong black or white or anythign here. I just needed to put this down somewhere that at the end of the day it is kind of like mocking the underdog and it does'nt sit completely right with me. 

Suspense

There you are

Old wound which is now just a faint scar

So old in fact that

One struggles to remember how long back far

But you exist and I know you watch me

Suddenly out of the blue

You pop on my frequent contact list

And I wonder how, when I never ping you?

The silent opening and closing of a chat

A wish to reach out

And yet a will to not

Leaves me wondering what you would like to say and do not.

Not that it would change things

But it would be nice to speak

Maybe as nothing more than an acquaintance

At least it would end any of the “what did he want to say anyway” suspense

Anecdote

Recently I was telling my mom how one of my seniors went and became a director of a well estd firms and mentioned, well what a lost opportunity, I could have been married to him if I'd hit on him at the right time. To which my mom replied, why don't you just become a director at some company in some time instead. :P \

I love my mom, and actually think this is one of the reasons I have always pushed myself to do well and get the next best thing. Here it is people, proof that behind every successful person(im tweaking it a bit) is a woman :)

Lonely on the way up!

They did not like her growth


So they try to pull her down the steps those

Stories of her abound

Things she never said nor found!



She plods on nevertheless

Trying to focus on those who know her best

But day by day that number dwindle

As they find their mates who need them next



Jealousy was supposed to be

The past time of a wrench

Here however she finds

Jealousy is what all around her know best



She still tries to maintain her calm

And be happy with what she’s got

But she’s stunned everytime

Someone she thought knew her stings her next



For what lesson is life trying to teach her

That wicked people exist she knows

But if they want her to turn next

That’s a path she is not willing to take.

Impact

The dreadful gang rape of Dec, caught the whole world's attention. The barbarianism of that act, left everyone connected or not apalled and angry. But that is not the only legacy it leaves behind. It was a very strong reminder that the Indian society on the whole and the North Indian society has very little respect for women.

Female foeticide, trafficking, dowry deaths, it leaves me seething and wondering what does it really mean to be a woman in India. And the sad reality is that India is a whole different ball game  for women than it is for men.

Is there a solution to it? the glaring answer is no. With the way the population is exploding, there is absolutely no way the situation is going to improve. The upper middle class and rich are comparatively in a better place than the others, however they better start taking precautions too, cause its no longer the vulnerable that these desperate bastards are after anymore, your status can no longer protect you , the mere fact that you are a woman makes you vulnerable.

The impact can be felt everywhere. The fact that I now look at almost every man walking in my vicinity as a potential rapist is something I don't like but is now ingrained in my mind. No longer will you see me with my ear-plugs plugged in walking away and enjoying myself, I find myself on full alert all the time. And it must be disturbing to the guys I glare at too. I'm sure I make it very obvous what I think of them and their kind just by looking at them spitefully. And Im not alone, most women have adopted this wary approach to them. I remember one of my friends from Bangalore asking me on his visit to Delhi, why do all the women always frown here? Well I think I have just found the answer. I would much rather glare a guy away than take the chance of having my life cut short.

The world's just become a much sadder place.

I'm Back, once again :P

Hello people. I was afraid the readership would have dwindled by now seeing my inactivity, but I'm so glad I still seem to be getting some viewership :) So winters are over in Delhi and how. It feels like I'm in the middle of May already.. Not such a good thing because Delhi is really hot in the summers.

 Well anyways. All my friends got married last month, more or less and thats what caused the long absence. That and the fact that I used to either go to work or come back and curl up in the blanket in my desperate attemot to get away from the cold. Anyways one good thing is I am now over the" oh my god everyone is getting married and im still single"  crap thanks to the fact that even after my friends got married not much has really changed in my life and it still continues the way it was earlier. So that's one fear come and gone.

And the next new thing in my life is, Ive started watching One Tree Hill; yes I know its really really old but Ive not really watched it before so what difference does it make? :P I really like it. Its a nice gripping story so far.

 And I'm really looking forward to getting out of Delhi and back to Mumbai. Please pray that this actually happens. I miss Mumbai. It was much safer than Delhi.  I wish the December Rape had not happened. It has just made me more paranoid. im literally glaring at everyone on the road like he's a potebtial rapist and I'm sure the guys are feeling it too. I feel sorry about making them all feel like dirt but hey better safe than sorry. Im gonna look out for myself first. But its pretty off-putting for me too so praying really really hard I get back to Mumbai.

Losing a Friend.

Past and gone
Yet always known
Always felt
Not necessarily missed
But at times, wished.
Wished things had been different
Maybe wished Id never changed my mind
That only friends we'd remained
But why over spilt milk
Should I cry

It's true-
we made better friends than anything more
What pushes us then to hope and pray
why must one's best friend be one's mate?
I miss the friend!
Suddenly tumble on memories old
Remember a kind word or comment left
A small compliment maybe to feel it was true.

And then I miss the friend
I see you struggle with it too
Fate so cruel to have us placed
Not in the same city alone, but in the same sphere
We come face to face
And avert our eyes
One in anger the other in shame
But both are left grasping for that time

That time when we spoke for hours on end
Took walks and wished never to part
All our friendship out of the window gone
no ways to undo the events of the past.
I wish we could speak again
You try to speak but it's not the same
I feel you're trying to make amends
Or out of forced will you take the time

Wish it were'nt so
Makes me wonder where the "true friend" went
Or did i misread the signs as always
was being just friends never your intent?
Did you string me along and- did I blindly believe
Why are'nt things more black and white?
Grey's confuse me- I then believe what I like
And before I realise, it's too late
I've also lost what I thought was mine.

Long time, but Im back now

So the net connection at my place was shaky, for the last 2 months and hence I was not able to post anything. Got a datacard yesterday finally and im so excited that I have the net again :P Though most people will be like really, she took 2 months to get a datacard. And for that I have only one brilliant friend of mine to thank. So this dude told me that he would be getting a datacard issued from the company and I could take his personal one so I dont have to invest too much. I gladly agreed cos honestly it would just have been a waste of money. Now later that week, I had a word about my internet problems with my RM and he very nicely said drop me an email and I will have one issued to you. But that stupid friend of mine went and threw a huge tantrum about how I should not have done that when he had said he was going to lend me his datacard. And so I didnt drop a mail asking for one to be issued from the office. And then this brilliant friend of mine, his datacard took forever to arrive, by the time it did arrive, he went off on leave for 3 weeks, then he came back and was messed up cos his girlfriend is breaking up with him and then finally got off his ass and went and collected the datacard from the office and handed over his to me... So that is why I took two months to get internet connection, something that can be done in one day's time. Anyways, now that I have it, you will see a whole lot more activity from me over here, I promise. And now time to get ready and go to work.  I will catch you guys later with a more sensible post soon i hope.

Under Attack

And you may think I'm talking war,
But to think so simply helps not my cause
For external affaris are all thought of
What no one pays heed to are internal faults.

A girl gets stripped of all her decency and more
You may say this is a known ill
But that it takes the most barbaric force
For us to take note,, is this not us under seige?

Basic rights violated, Basic needs ignored
All our morals flushed down the drain
And we live with the mentality of survival of the best
We survived today, the one hurt was someone else
Such apathy, such mistrust in fate

For we seem to believe
it would never be us,
It happens to the careless, it happens to those who provoke!!
It happens to people who take risks unknown.

And so people mourn the dead
protest, show anger and say the right things
while keeping these thoughts in their heads
I say one thing people, you are no safe.

These criminals lurk within the safety of these false concepts
It's not the external measures but what out society promotes and fosters that protects.
So teach your kids values, every little effort helps
Tell them right from wrong and pray your neighbour does the same
We are no longer at most harm from outside
Its our society, beliefs,customs under attack from within

What are you going to do about it?

And I mean this in the most constructive way possible. The poor Delhi girl who suffered one of the most heinous gang-rapes known to mankind, finally died today. While it saddens me that I take the stand of thank god it's over, I also know it's the most practical thing. Forget the trauma she would have had to face, the fact that her intestines and vagina would have to be replaced would have made life physically painful for her too. For those out of the loop, a girl was gang-raped by a group of men in a Delhi bus and then the messed around with an iron rod and managed to pull out her intestines too. And this gut wrenching description is actually one of the least morbid ones I could possibly give of the incident so you can well imagine how horrific the tale is. The poor girl struggled to survive, but finally she is dead today. And I see protest marches and angry messages and updates. But like everything else, I know it is just something people are doing in the moment, that it leading to something really substantial is near impossible

I see rants to the government and security. But honestly are you sayign that a law passed by the government is going to put an end to this? In a society where women are not respected in their own houses, and where the male to female population is seriously skewed, this leaves me feeling very hopeless about the situation. However, if anyone is really looking for a solution, here goes

1) Equal treatment of the genders. This starts from curbing female foeticide. For heaven's sake, you killing a girl before she is even born is the same if not worse than girls being abused and left for dead and finally succumbing to their injuries. It preaches a mentality that women are not of any value. Why would your sons pay attention or respect to girls like they deserve then?

2) Equal opportunities to girls. You will send your sons to all the fancy schools and parties and outings. And they are allowed to stay out late and date girls etc. They are allowed to wear and act and do as they please. But not girls. And for heavens sake, our dressign doesnt provoke men. Its the animal instinct and the fact that they see a vulnerable and helpless prey in front of them that does. So stuff your preaching about dress decently up your ass. Give equal opportunities to women and it will increase the acceptance of girls in all aspects of society more and make them less of an enticement to the perverts that exist

3) Be a pro-active society. There has been an incident when walking on the streets of Mumbai, I yelled at a guy who tried to brush past my friend while we were walking on the road in the night, and the guy ran for his life cos the shopkeepers nearby came out. Delhi, and unfortunately now even mumbai to some extent is losing this pro-activeness. However if societies promise to protect its own that area becomes safe and this can spread as a mutually agreed upon solution if taken seriously.

So we don't need the government to put up a law to deter these incidents. We need good educated societies. And anger is fine but what's more important is where it is directed and what comes out of it. We are not looking for a quick fix here, finding and hanging the guilty is not enough, we need a permanent fix and that can only come through us. So I again ask you, what are you going to do about it?

Not sure what to name this

So I recently attended my best friend's sisters wedding in Mumbai. And as expected with all indian weddigns everythign was pure chaos. I am yet to see a well organised and disciplined indian wedding. So much so that after my big fat greek wedding i wondered what the whole hullabaloo was about. Anyways, that being not what I set out to write about, I will get straight down to my latest eureka moment(Yes I had one more of those)

"You threaten to leave only those who you know can't do without you"

And its one of the most heartless selfish thing you can do. There's a weird sadistic pleasure one gets from seeing the person in front of you getting all emotional and look at you pleadingly. And its horrible. And I know this because this is exactly what I did. And then I felt super bad about it. Because I knew it wasnt my friends fault and she had other commitments. But I was mad. And I knew it was her fault to some extent for not having planned it better and for letting me down by not having enough time for me especially since i came back home after 3 months. And so i told her this is the last time Im going to see you for a very very long time so hope you enjoyed it and walked off. And then I felt very bad about it and realised that had she not put me in a position where I could tell her this and not worry about retaliation or to hell with you attitude I would never have said it. And hence the above quote about threatening to leave only those who cant do without you. Another one of my sad observations on behaviour I guess.

Fav Pic

That has to be my favourite pic from IIFT. Minal and Neha kissing me to try and cheer me up because some guys had been very mean to me after the symposium. Though now I get the point that boys being boys have the tendency to just go jump into things without thinking abt the niceties to be followed... but this is my favourite pic more because of the simplicity of thinking. Apparently for my friends just them being around me and giving me a peck on the cheek and a hug is supposed to cheer me up.. And I think its quite true too...Theres nothing that picks you up better than people just showing you they are there for in the simplest term possible . It gives you the courage to believe that whatever past doesnt matter cos the ppl who care abt u still do and will always continue to do so..

Snob

They will not talk to her


They do look at her

They wonder who she is and where she comes from

A stranger in her own land

Sometimes a curse and sometimes a boon



She sits quietly with her lunch

Her back to them all

She is tired of the constant gazes and curious eyes she sees

She wants none of it today



Her friends are on leave

Hence she feels the eyes even more

She tries to not think about them

But its easier with company on her hand



They finally guess she’s just alone

They also make a conjecture on her character

Quite the snob they think let her be

We have plenty without her you see



She wishes they would’nt judge her so

That her differences are more of accents and lisps than pride

That she’s just normal and one of them all

But the constant speculation puts her off

She would rather not explain herself anymore

Why must she fight for acceptance with every single soul?

Had she been just the same would they have cared

But now a snob have they her named



So she sits quietly with her back to them

Blocking out the sounds of friendly laughter and cheer

Wishing there was someone she knew

Who would in this vast unfriendly world make her feel at home.

top 5 things to do if you achieve "World Domination"!!!"

I started writing this blog sometime back :P Don't remember when and am too lazy to go back and checkbut Im guessing it was somewhere around 2008. And I had to explain the weird choice fot the name. One of the comments caught my eye. It was best of luck with your plans of world domination :D

Now, you may well wonder how I thought I was going to get there. And here's how I thought it would. i was kind of hoping that people would start reading the blog and my ideas would get embedded in their minds and then their actions and thus I could control them :P

Anyways, that did not happen, as you can clearly see. But I can still try to think of the top 5 things I would do if I had managed it, can't I? ;)

5) Put Salman Khan and Shahrukh Khan in a box and throw them in the middle of the next hurricane threatening the DCs I look at providing DR support to as a sacrifice to appease the Gods! Hopefully, it won't have the opposite effect!

4) Catch hold of all the bureaucratic people like one of my teammates who creates more obstacles than he resolves and fling them to the sharks, god bless their souls(the sharks not the people's)

3) Ban Rap and hip hop. God awful sound for no reason.

2) Get all my favourite brands to pay me for for shopping with them :)

1) Make fat the new beautiful like in the renaissance period :'( Too much hard work trying to lose it I tell you :|

Jaipur!

Amer fort from a distance... A big distance. But I did manage to tick off one more place from my list of places to see while in the north. The pink city is truly awesome. And it's actually not pink but brick red. The colour of gehru which is used to paint the walls as one overly friendly young guy in the train explained to me when he overheard me gushing about the pink houses we would see in Jaipur. He also added an unnecessary "who would paint their house pink?"  after that explanation. So let me start this from the start.

Diwali day and no-one is in the office apart from me and Darshika. We were always planning a trip to Jaipur but it had never fallen into place. So we said lets go to Jaipur this weekend. Since I'm  a member of the youth hostel, getting a place to stay is usually no problem at all. Then began the planning which was massively done by Darshika since I was super busy :( but she did a pretty good job of it and loved all the freedon to decide what we would do with our time too so it was all good. We booked train tickets to get there and bus tickets to come back.

Then came the Friday we were supposed to depart on and my drill just would not get over. Luckily we finished by 11 and rushed home by a private cab. and then the fun began. A 3:00 am cab to the station, getting into a train at 4:30. and all this when Im not used to travelling by trains at all just added to the charm.

Day 1 was a whirlwind tour of all the places outside Jaipur. So we started with Amer fort, and jal mahal and then drove all the way across Jaipur in the opposite direction to see Chowki Dhani. Now this place is absolutely a must go to if you are in Jaipur. Its a theme park with the theme of a Rajasthani village and is complete with magic shows, puppet shows, dances, elephant and camel rides, fortune tellers and a place where the artisans can sell stuff. And the food is absolutely to die for. Please, if you go to Jaipur or are in Mumbai check out Chowki Dhani though the one in Jaipur is much better than the one in Mumbai.

Day 2: We decided to backpack this day and see the places inside the city. Starting off with the City Palace. And as luck would have it some royal guests were expected that very day. We could not see the guests because they were taking their own sweet time but we did see the preparation. A horse buggy along with three decorated camels and a band playing bagpipes were all part of the grand royal welcome they were to receive. Man I wish I was the guest of the present royal family and if there was a young prince on offer, who was smart and good looking, I would not mind marrying him either :P

City Palace was followed by Jantar Mantar, a collection of old equipment to measure the movements of celestial objects. It increased my respect for the old Indian generations. They truly were into innovation and science. The current geenration is so busy earning money that all this has been thrown out the window.  We then went on to Albert Hall a beautiful museum and then after lunch walked to Hawa Mahal which was another experience as we covered in 20 mins flat as it was almost closing time. So we ran up the place posed clicked ran and repeated the cycle till we reached the very top. :D

And then we shopped!!! Obviously we had to. Badi Chowpath is the place to go if you want some nice traditional things. There's a lot of bargaining involved and Im just super happy that I managed to buy 2 dress materials after reducing their cost to 2/3 of what they were asking . :) You need to be a good bargainer for this place Im not a good bargainer but I did mange to get things down to my range. This was followed by dinner at MI road and then a rickshaw to Sindhi camp from where we took a bus back to Delhi.

 The cost of the entire trip per head without the shopping was Rs 3600 and Im sure there is margin for improvement here if we had not used a cab on the first day but then being girls we thought it was the safest option since we were roaming the outskirts of Jaipur. So all in all it was a nice quick weekend getaway.

Skyfall

Caught the latest Bond flick doing the rounds. I like Bond, and I like strong alpha male figures. There's just something very fascinating about a guy who has brains and manages to still kick someone's ass if required.

Having said that and shown I'm clearly biased towards James Bond, I know the movie has not got as good reviews as its predecessors have. However, I believe this is more to do with the fact that Bond in our minds has been moulded into this sleek gadget wielding, casanova types. So when we see Bond movies with not that much sex and machines. I actually like the less objectifying of women as sex objects part to be honest, I like Daniel Craig's James Bond movies more partly for this. Hardly seen him making out as much as the previous Bond's did. And I say this after having been a big Pierce Brosnan fan from his days of Remington Steele. Plus there's no denying that Craig is a more hand's on Bond. And I like the delving into the past that I see in these movies. I loved discovering how Bond became so emotionally detached from women, or that he is a rich Scottish(?) orphan. And I definitely liked wathing him trying to save M and a list of agents(somewhat Mission Impossible I-ish) rather than watching him go catch hold of weird baddieswho want to nuke the world in hopes of getting their oil to somewhere else or similar nuke related Bond stories. Not that I did'nt like those. But I think people are being harsh giving these not so good reviews. I think an unbiased viewing of these movies would actually help you enjoy them more. Why must Bond always save the world from an impeding near end? I know I went in not expecting Bond to be the Pierce Brosnan bond flicks and was on the edge of the seat. I could not even wait for the title song to end cos I was so eager to see how Bond was gonna come back next.

 And now I'm going to be a girl and let the girlie instincts take over. Daniel Craig is awesomely hot. I love his eyes (thanks to the title song where they are in focus and make you think of clear blue oceans and sandy beaches :D) I was even more excited to see Ralph Fiennes(one of my all time favouritest actors in the whole wide world :P) come in as M. He's super awesome. And the new Q is cute too. And my dad told me Daniel Craig is 50 years old when I started gushing over him on the phone. Dads! Anyways, I hate to see Judi Dench leaving. But all in all I liked this movie too. And I'm glad to see a change in perspective and them trying to do something new.

What's in a Name: Pat II

So admittedly, I have one of the most difficult names to pronounce. the k is more of an illusion at the statrt and the sh have to be attached to the k and stretched so that it almost sounds like x but in xylophone but isnt quite there because the sh is attached to it. And I have a lisp too, to make matters worse for me actually.

It was quite embarassing as a kid because I could not pronounce my own name till the 7th standard which is like I was 13. Led to a lot of loss of self esteem and 7th std was easily my worst year ever. But then I practised it and am now quite capable to say it out loud as long as I'm consciously thinking of what Im saying. The moment I am in a hurry or not focussing, it's all over the place again :P

Anyways, the only positive I see out of all this is that when foreigners mispronounce my name, im ablt to understand why and take it with a pinch of salt. So recently I had a call with some guys from Puerto Rico and since their native tongue is Spanish rather than English.( funnily foreigners who know english are better at saying my name, don't know why) . And this guy is being really nice to me and trying to ensure he gets my name right. So he started off with Xeeteeja, which is good for a first time person saying my name who is not in Indian culture, 10 mins down the line he went Xeeja, then Xena and finally by the end of the call I was named Katrina!!! :D

Anyways, it's all fun. I have several names due to the difficulty people have saying my original name. Kates, Nicky, Dexter, hello(strangely enough because I have a habit of greeting everyone with a friendly hello no matter how small an interval ago I just saw the person :P) a. So I say to myself, what's in a name??    :) 

Hotel Transylvania

Interesting animated flick, Different concept. It twirls around the age old dilemma of who's actually afraid of whom. so there's Count Dracula and guess what, his daughter has just turned 118. He has raised her all on his own and watched her grow. He has built a castle where no human can ever enter and this is now a hotel; Hotel Transylvania;a hotel for only monsters where they can feel safe from humans. She has lived 118 years surrounded by only monsters.

And now it's her coming of age. She has finally turned 118. There is a lavish party as usual for her. All the monsters you can think of are there right from Frankensteing to the werewolves to the zombies. And he knows that for her 188th bday she will argue that she wants to go explore the world. So he stages a scene of a village dresses up zombies as humans and sends her out there for a half an hour flight. It has the desired effect, she returns vowing to never go out again. However when the Count's band of zombie actors return from the village a young backpacker who had heard stories of this castle follows them straight into the hotel. The Count now has two tasks on hand, ensuring this youngster gets out without anyone figuring out a human made it to the castle, which would ruin business for him as the castle would no longer be a safe getaway from humans and two ensuring the boy and his daughter do not fall in love. And invariably he fails miserably at both.

A sweet romantic flick which plays amazingly well with the emotions of a father trying to protect his daughter from his worst fear and then eventually giving in to her wishes in order to see her happy, its a nice watch and has many other subtle messages about acceptance and forgiving and letting go off the past and adapting to the future. Over  all I would see watch it when you are in the mood for a nice animated flick you can see with your family.